Misadventures
by Cubiclegirl
Summary: harry/Pansy fic. Starts off at fifth year with stalking, secret rooms and curiosity.
1. Chapter 1

_Touch your thighs, I'm the lonely one_

 _Narc - Interpol_

Chapter 1

Pansy was skulking. This was accompanied by thoughts on how this wasn't how she envisioned spending her fifth year. The worst part was there were many things she would rather be doing at this very moment, but for today and many more days she would spend them following Potter or his posse. Between Umbridge and Draco's obsession with the boy it was a miracle that half of her year wasn't doing the same to curry favour. Of course most just found it not worth it to be within Potter's sphere of notice. Potter's claim of the darklord's return had thoroughly spooked people. She didn't care. One way or the other, she would have Draco's affections by the end of the year. Soon after that she would have the Malfoy name, wealth and power.

She had been following Potter half-heartedly since the beginning of the school year. Becoming a prefect only seemed advantageous in bringing about Potter's downfall. Well atleast that was how Draco saw it. This following though was only by chance after she caught him skulking in the lower hallways. She couldn't resist tailing him, even if she was alone. It would be a brilliant if she could find out the secret meeting place of his little group. This could perhaps bring her and Draco closer.

She shook her head of these thoughts of grandeur and focused.

She focused on Potter, whom walked as uncertainly as she did; seeming to be following something she couldn't see. She followed him past a corner but stopped short in surprise. The hallway came to an abrupt end and she was quick to duck back before he saw her. She peaked around the corner to find him crouched against the wall fondling it experimentally. She ducked back weighing on whether or not to cut her losses before he caught on to her spying.

The matter was left undecided as a short cry caught her attention. She risked a glance around the corner but the end of the hallway now lay empty. She approached fuming, upset that he had given her the slip into some kind of secret passage.

Reaching his last position, she found herself giving a similar cry to the one she heard only moments before. Illusionary floor gave way under her and she found herself falling through the floor. Darkness gave way to instant blinding light and the ground rushing up to be the end of her. Her screams were cut off as her descent came to an abrupt end before she could paint the floor. The force holding her off the floor gave way and she hit the floor with a wince.

She felt the plant life around her before she glanced around to find she was surrounded by it. For a second she thought she was in the herbology greenhouses but she quickly dismissed this as she fought off the disorientation. The plant life was clustered into a circular indoor garden, thriving with various magical plant life. She looked up to find Potter looking down at her expression suspicious with his eyes darting to their surroundings now and then. She winced half blinded by a bright halo above him.

He stepped towards her and offered her a hand. She ignored it and promptly stood up and tried not to look as bewildered as she felt.

"So you were the one following me" He said dejectedly having felt he was being watched. He turned to survey the room.

The rest of the room was all stone with an artificial sun floating somewhere high above them. There was only one door, situated on the far side of the room.

She ignored him and smirked "So this is where you and your little friends have been sneaking off too"

Her smirk fell as Harry gave her an amused smile and walked away.

"Who are you anyway" He asked behind him as he headed towards the only door in the circular room.

To say she was offended was putting it mildly.

"Your attempt to be insulting is child's play Potter" She said hesitantly following him.

He stopped, looking back even more amused

"I'm sorry" -He clearly was not- "I don't mean to insult but I don't think we've met. You're in Slytherin. Fifth year I think; I've seen you in potions"

"Pansy Parkinson" She ground out glaring at him

Potter gave a click of the fingers nodding to a complete picture now.

"So why are you stalking me Pansy? You're one of Malfoy's minions right"

She flinched at the use of her first name.

"You're as narcissistic as expected Potter, the term coincidence describes this situation perfectly"

He gave an irritated look and she responded with a half-hearted sneer.

Harry sighed the anger away and tried to bury his annoyance. He opened the door and walked on. He paused startled as the room ahead was pitch black illuminated slightly by runes that glowed green on the ceiling. His skin prickled as a pressure seemed to close in around him. This was one of those moments he would have been glad to have Hermione with him. He wasn't sure if he should proceed, the pressure and runes putting him on edge.

"You wouldn't be taking ancient runes would you Parkinson?"

She pushed him aside coming to stand beside him. she immediately faltered and Harry caught her before she hit the ground. She shook him off and stood shakily.

"Where are we Potter"

"I'm not sure"

She looked at him incredulously

"I'm pretty sure I didn't ask you to run around stalking me" He bit out irritably.

Harry was aware of the anger seemed to be constantly lurking inside him these days, and it took a moment to get it under control and breathe it out. Parkinson stepped away from him cautiously.

"We should look for a way out" Harry said

Walking deeper into the room, it came alive with small light fixtures around the room lighting up with half a dozen balls of light. The room resembled a common room, though this clearly wasn't made for a large number of people seemingly furnished for a small group or a single studious mind. Half the circumference of the room was lined with books. The other kept clear with a hearth, two couches and a small coffee table. The centre had a small study table to fit maybe four people. All was dust covered and musty.

Both momentarily forgot about one another, focused entirely on the room. They walked deeper into the room catching a breeze gently flowing through the room. As they walked deeper the oppression and dust around the room receded. By the time they stood in the middle of the room, it was pristine. Parkinson sat herself on a chair as soon as they were close enough. She muttered something and Harry noticed she was hyperventilating, and sweaty as though she had just come from a jog.

"Parkinson" Harry called out, testily laying a hand on her shoulder.

"Something's wrong" She said weakly "Tired"

Harry felt his apprehension rise at this. It was bad enough to be caught up in a secret room he found through more whispering parseltongue, now he had to be worried about one of Malfoys cronies.

"Rest, I'll look around for a way out" He said uncertainly.

He noted half the runes around the ceiling were no longer active and the others fading slowly. There were five doors equally distributed around the room (including the one they had just come from) and Harry set to exploring for an exit. His curiosity took a back seat as he looked through each door. He identified a lavatory and bathroom through the first door. Second came a featureless wide stone and runed room that otherwise looked unremarkable. Third was stairs leading up to god knows where. Fourth was sleeping quarters. Last was the door they came in from.

Harry walked back into the plant room, checking for any exit he might have missed. There was no exit, and the artificial sun hid where they had fallen in from. He retreated back into the commons and found Parkinson now unconscious. It seemed too early in the year for a life threatening situation he thought. This did little to slow his rising panic. He tried to shake her awake but she didn't stir.

"Rennervate" he cast on her but it only earned him a moan

This was the last thing he needed and he silently cursed her for the panic he was feeling. He cast a lightening charm on her, before carrying her bridal style. He took a gamble assuming the stairs leading up were the exit, but trusted his instincts. It was a short climb up the stairs, which levelled out into a hallway with two paths.

Left or right.

He took the left and found his route illuminated by the same lights as the commons as well as well as runes lining the hallway ceiling. He came to the end with a single door. It didn't open when he awkwardly tried opening it. He lay his ward on the floor before scanning the door. There were words -assumed to be Latin- scrawled on it and they ended with snakes on either end.

Uncertainty and apprehension took hold of Harry once more, the memory of the small snake carved into the floor of the hallway they fell through. He wondered if he had used parseltongue again without notice.

"Open" He hissed at the door after studying the snakes on it.

The door groaned and swung back. He took steps back and stood in front of Parkinson's unresponsive body, his wand out. The door revealed inky blackness that reflected nothing but continuously rippled. Harry cautiously approached and it lit up with sea green. Inky darkness gave way to watery surface that gave an obscured picture of hazy images behind it. Harry squinted and was pretty sure he could see some movement behind it.

He groaned 'not that way then'

He felt himself tire as he picked up Parkinson again, and noted his charm had worn off. He was momentarily puzzled as it should have been active longer than this. He tried to reapply it but it gave way a few seconds after he cast it.

He gave up and picked her up and went back the way he came.

Ten minutes later he found himself faced with another door. He hissed for it to open and it readily gave way. He noted the runes above him were gone. The door gave way to a darkened room. Harry stepped in cautiously but wasn't surprised to hear the door close behind him. An outline glowed ahead of him and swung open to an empty hallway.

Harry stepped through warily giddy to be back in parts of the castle he was used to. Behind him a portrait closed the way he had come. The portrait which had been body length shrank to a small window size. Harry shook his head promising to ponder this at a later date.

Xxx

"Is she going to be alright?" Harry asked feeling his own fatigue catching up with him

He sat on a cot next to Parkinson grateful to be off his feet.

"She's going to be fine. She was just exhausted. Care to explain Mr Potter" Pomfrey asked expectantly

This year was already volatile enough without him adding this to have used against him. He could lie but there was no guarantee that Parkinson would backup any lie he came up with.

"I'm not sure" he said which was sort of true, he wasn't sure why she got exhausted so fast.

"I heard a cry and investigated, she was in a hallway passed out on the third floor" he said shrugging at her raised brow.

"You look thoroughly winded yourself, lay back while I look you over"

He didn't argue and let her run her spells off him while he lay back and caught his breath.

"Everything seems fine, though you seem to have exhausted your magic slightly. Rest I'll have an elf bring you some dinner"

She returned to Parkinson throwing a few more spells at her before leaving to do as she had promised.

Xxx

Pomphrey left him to eat and returned to her office, presumably notify the headmaster Harry assumed. When she was out of the room Harry was quick to whip out his wand.

"Rennervate" He mumbled

Parkinson stirred but seemed too tired to sit up and express the shock on her face.

"How did I get here" She asked tiredly as he stood over her.

"I carried you here"

He didn't give her time for any more questions "I found you on the third floor hallway, collapsed and brought you here"

She arched her brow at him "No, we fell and…"

Harry bared down on her feeling hot anger flood him

"I have enough problems with Umbridge and l don't need her spinning this against me. I didn't have to physically carry you all the way here, I could have left you. I didn't leave you to die did I?" He asked

She seemed ready to retort something challenging but Harry repeated

"I found you on the third floor hallway, collapsed and brought you here. You owe me" He held her gaze steadily

She tore her gaze away from him and gave a small nod followed by Harry releasing a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.

He sent a wordless stunner and she was out again. He returned to his eatery ignoring the hissing laughter he had to be imagining.

Xxx

"Mr Potter's behaviour has been so far nothing if not suspicious. I merely feel it would be prudent to make sure all is as it seems" Umbridge said smile in place

"My dear there is no need for that, miss Parkinson has already collaborated Mr Potter's version of the events."

"Ah but she couldn't account for what happened after she was unconscious"

"You can't be serious" Harry said incredulously

"Oh but I am. I think it prudent for Ms Parkinson's state of body be verified" she said with a sniff before continuing. "Miss Parkinson comes from an ancient house. I think it would give her piece of mind to know she wasn't violated in her time of weakness. Don't you agree Pansy"

Harry gaped and Dumbledore frowned but said nothing

Pansy was stuck bewildered hesitant to give any type of answer.

"There is no need for any of that" Pomphrey cut in "I ran tests on both mister Potter and miss Parkinson, neither has had any sexual activity this evening"

Umbridge's smile remained on her face but looked to be on the verge of becoming a scowl.

"Ah a relief then, I'm sure we all feel better with that all cleared up"

She caught Harry's eye before turning and leaving the room. The expression on her face made it clear that, though she didn't get to Harry this time, it was only a matter of time.

"Excellent work as always Poppy, Harry shall we leave Miss Parkinson to have her rest"

Parkinson watched Potter leave with Dumbledore, sparing her an uncertain look before they were gone.

Xxx

Pansy watched Harry and his faithful dogs leave the great hall with a fading and decidedly unenthusiastic thought of following them in case they got up to anything. She decided against it. Besides she needed to stick to Draco. She had to make sure his ego was soothed with her every laugh at his inane jokes. If she didn't do it, it would only be a matter of time before some hussy took her place. Draco could be genuinely funny sometimes but the rest of the time it was grandstanding with relish at hearing his own voice. So here she sat, squealing at every thought he thought to voice.

She thought back to Potter, and not for the first time the room they had fallen into before her black out. She wanted to believe Potter had been responsible for whatever happened but convincing herself of that was harder than convincing half of the school of his insanity. His character might have been sickening but it was genuine enough.

It was ironic that sticking with Malfoy had made them Potter's main adversary in Hogwarts but also gave her a front row seat to who he was. His goody goody attitude was what drove Draco mad half the time.

Draco was about to start a new retelling of how things would be different this year when Pansy thought she had fulfilled the quota at being his brainless harpy for the evening. She stood giving his shoulder an affectionate squeeze. He stopped his retelling to study her.

"Where are you off too?"

"Finish a transfiguration essay" she said with a groan before smiling sweetly at him.

He gave a dismissive nod turning back to his audience. He seemed inquisitive of her comings and goings after he heard of the incident with Potter. Truthfully she was embarrassed by the whole affair. Potter hadn't been discreet when taking her up to the hospital wing, and the few students that caught sight of him made it out to be more than it was with every retelling. Most of it of course deliberately targeted to upset her or Draco. The simple version of him taking her to the hospital wing after she collapsed was being promptly ignored. Stories ranged from Potter rescuing her from a something or other, to them having a secret rendezvous that was so spectacular that she passed out.

Still she was glad to see Malfoy incensed enough to be giving her extra attention for however long it lasted.

Xxx

It was later that night that Pansy left for her rounds. Usually she was more enthusiastic about this as it gave her the authority to walk about after curfew, not to mention she always came away with a bit of gossip or black mail from the creatures out past curfew. This time though her mood wasn't suited to it. She simply walked the halls ignoring any quick shuffle of feet that usually made her give chase. It simply didn't excite her enough. It was Potter's fault of course, him and his bloody secret ancient room with an artificial sun. She didn't want to think about it, knowing it would lead to more curiosity and she wouldn't have the nerve to go hunting Potter for more information.

She was descending toward Slytherin house after her rounds when she caught sight of the path leading to where she and Potter had the start of their short lived adventure. It was unconscious but soon she found herself stood watching the spot they had fallen through. She didn't dare come any closer but peered at it.

One had to wonder if these kinds of situations were the make-up of Potter's life. She snorted brushing away thoughts on the daily life of Potter, she had her own hypothetical problems. She stepped forward and gave the ground in front of her a tentative feel with her foot while keeping most of her weight back in case the ground tried to vanish from under her. The ground stayed firm under her but she didn't have the heart to test it further. She knew she should have been getting back to the common room but her curiosity wasn't so easily assuaged. She cast aguamenti spells all over the floor. When she was sure none of the pools of water were vanishing, she vanished them and approached. The floor stayed beneath her.

She looked around the walls and floor but found nothing that proved to be remarkable, it seemed for all intents and purposes just another dusty Hogwarts hallway. She turned to leave feeling put out. She wasn't sure what she expected to find but had hoped it would be more interesting.

Pansy gave a squeak in fright finding Potter watching her.

"Sorry, did I surprise you" Harry said with a smirk

"As if you weren't disturbing enough Potter, now you have to add stalking and creeping up on people to the list"

"I'll settle for creeping up, stalking is your department remember" Harry said bemused

"Don't banter with me Potter, what are you doing here"

She noted he was trembling and pasty from sweat

"I should ask you that" he said coming closer "Looking for another misadventure?"

She opened her mouth to retort but stopped short "I'm leaving and I'll be reporting this"

"Yes, I'm sure Malfoy must be wondering where you are" Harry said not really caring for her threat.

She didn't reply and made to walk past him

"I'm surprised you haven't told him about it" Harry said seeming casual but was fishing.

"How do you know I haven't told him" she said without her usual confidence.

"Well the lack of Umbridge or the rest of his cronies sniffing around was my first clue" Harry said pleased he had guessed right as she frowned

"Whatever" Parkinson muttered continuing on her way

"You're not curious" he said slowly

That stopped her dead in her tracks.

She turned to see him move to stand at the end of the Hallway looking back at her curiously. She should leave, this she knew. She couldn't associate herself with Potter anymore than she already had. She had a plans for the future, these plan consisted of Draco and his family's reputation and wealth, it would be extremely unSlytherin to put it all at risk to go exploring with Potter.

Pansy could only glare in answer to Potter's growing grin as she came towards him.

"How do I know I won't just pass again" she said trying to be dignified

"I told the headmaster about the room and what happened" Harry said rolling his eyes as she glared at him "Anyway it shouldn't happen again"

She looked at him funny "Umbridge didn't give you any ideas did she"

Harry gaped at her

"Ideas?" he repeated slowly

Pansy shook her head with a smile "What am I thinking, virgin Potter wouldn't even know what to do with-"

Harry hissed in parseltongue and the ground gave from underneath them.

Harry was glad to hear her scream

TBC

Xxx

Bad writing while in transit, you'll have to forgive or love me.


	2. Chapter 2

_No one wants me, and no one cares_

 _Polica – Tiff (feat Justin Vernon)_

Chapter 2

Harry watched her take in the room once more wondering why he had baited her into coming with him. She seemed to have forgotten about him as she moved around the room eying it with wonder. The books more than anything. She reminded him of Hermione for a moment. This brought him slight guilt at not having told both her or Ron about this place. He rationalized that it wasn't worth mentioning but he knew he still held some resentment over the whole prefect thing. This could be something that was his own. Besides Hermione ran off all the time without explaining anything to them so it wasn't that big of a thing. He would tell them sooner or later but for now it was his secret. Well maybe not completely his secret but he was the only one who could enter the place.

"So what is this place" Pansy said slowly "Dumbledore must have had some idea"

Harry didn't like the way she referred to Dumbledore, her tone could have held a little more respect.

"He guessed it was once an old headmasters private room, an heir to Slytherin judging from all the security measures centred around parseltongue. Dumbledore thinks the room was draining magic from us when we entered. Seems this room wasn't part of the original Hogwarts, so after so many years of disuse Hogwarts stopped feeding it magic. It should be safe now."

Pansy gave a thoughtful nod then a snort "The irony that you should be the one with access to this room is disturbing. You don't deserve it"

This irritated Harry. Who was she to talk about what anyone deserved with the way they- (Draco and Co.) -behaved. The way they had behaved at the care of magical creatures' class gave him a thought on what she and Draco deserved.

"Well sadly most of us don't get what we deserve" Harry said turning away to hide his annoyance.

Pansy chose to ignore that particular jibe; she didn't need Potter getting self-righteous on her over lesser blooded individuals.

"I have to wonder why you brought me here Potter." She said turning to pick out a book. "If you're hoping to get into my pants, I'm sorry to disappoint you but that will never happen"

Harry snorted ignoring how uncomfortable the change of subject made him. "I'd rather take my chances with… just about anyone else"

"You should feel honoured to be even alone with me, Potter, and one day you and all your little friends will know your place" she said turning back to him

Harry ignored her. Looking a little ill, he mumbled -not softly enough- something about Draco's sloppy seconds.

Pansy chucked the book in her hands at him before she could control her anger but Harry dodged it easily enough though looking surprised.

"The hell was that for" he demanded

"You're a git. A Lowborn git. Raised among muggles I shouldn't expect much anyway. Not that your blood traitor father or mudblood mother could have done any better" she sneered at him.

She had barely finished her rant when he was upon her. She gave a frightened squeak when he roughly caught her arms. His teeth were bared at her, and his anger cascaded over her in waves. Books fell from their perches and fire blazed at the hearth. Pansy had never been this close to him and the anger in his face made it an experience she didn't wish to repeat. He shook her once, then twice. He looked ready to cast her onto the floor but stopped short.

The pressure on her arms lessened but he didn't let her go. The anger left him and his face cleared to confusion before settling on irritation.

"What's wrong with you" He whispered relinquishing his hold on her with a light shove.

Pansy put distance between them as soon as he let her go. She rubbed her arms already knowing of the bruises that would be there by the time she had a chance to check. Potter watched her and he was still angry but at a lesser state.

Harry turned his back on her saying "I brought you here so you could be sated. Read a book, look around as much as you want but this is the last time you'll see this room."

Before she could retort he marched off wand now clenched in his hand, disappearing behind the empty runed room, leaving her stunned.

Pansy wasn't sure how long she stood there watching the door he had disappeared behind, but when she came back to herself she was shaking. Half of her was still shaken, while another was angry and ashamed all in one.

'what's wrong with you' his voice still whispered in her head

How dare he act like she was out of line. It wasn't her fault he couldn't take the truth. Pansy grit her teeth forcing any guilt away, she didn't need this or this bloody room. She made to give Potter a piece of her mind when magic accompanied by the sound of an explosion stopped her in her tracks. There was a pause before more thumps could be heard, though they held less magical residue.

She felt her fright creep up again and she decided against confronting Potter just yet. She would wait for Potter to come to her, then she could give him a piece of her mind.

She caught sight of the book she hurled at him and took it up again. There were many more books displaced by Potters A.M and she decided to take in what she could while Potter cooled off.

Xxx

Harry knew how ignorant and bigoted Slytherins could be but he just couldn't believe she had the gall to insult his parents. The thought of it still made his blood boil. More than anything he wanted to go back in there and make sure she knew better. He whipped out his wand and sent a curse at the nearest wall. He hadn't had a thought or spoken a word but felt gratified to see the wall take the brunt of a burst of fire. He sent more all around him. He was a whirlwind of anger, firing all the curses he knew; most he didn't even need to verbalise before they materialized.

He didn't know how long he kept this up for but soon found himself slick with sweat, and panting at the exertion. The one thing he was happy to note was his anger had left him, replaced by emptiness and fatigue. Gods he had to wonder what was happening to him.

He cast a quick cleaning charm on himself before making for the door. He paused collecting himself before walking out.

He found Parkinson reading by the fire seeming the embodiment of cool, as though their earlier tiff hadn't happened. He cast a quick tempus and it was a long way past curfew, even for prefects.

"I think it's time we left" He said quietly

Her response was to snap the book shut and stand to face with him. She studied him a moment and he did the same to her. She had rolled up her sleeves and he could see the clear bruising where his fingers had held her.

"Feeling better?" She said

He gave a hesitant nod avoiding her eyes

"Must have felt good to get that off your chest…..to judge me" the last part said testily

Harry said nothing, letting her speak. He didn't have any energy to argue.

"What's wrong with me" She continued in a low tone "There's nothing wrong with me Potter. I know who I am and where I stand with people like you. I know the assumptions your little world of noble gryffindor-ing affords you, but I will not be judged by you. One has to wonder how your friends would feel about their golden boy being responsible for these" she gestured to the purple bruises.

"I unlike you Potter know who I am, and there's nothing wrong with me"

Harry sighed thinking he pretty much deserved her little speech even though most of it went through him with little effect.

"I'm taking this with me" She said after an uncomfortable silence

Harry approached her to get a look at the text but didn't miss the flinch she gave as he came closer. The book seemed to be a personal potions journal. Harry didn't want to let her have it but didn't have the energy to argue. He handed it back and led the exit.

They emerged back in the castle from another portrait that shrank back to a smaller size. Harry watched Parkinson take in the hallway, no doubt committing it to memory for purposes of return. He let her have her look while he made sure there was no one in their vicinity.

"I'm sorry" Harry said with pause "about before, I shouldn't have…" he trailed off.

He approached her and was glad she didn't back away, even if it was probably a form of defiance on her part. He took her hand, ignoring how cold and sweaty it was. He trailed his other hand up her arm pushing back her sleeve to reveal her bruises.

"Does it hurt" He asked quietly

She shook her head watching his hands on her.

Harry gave a slow nod before relinquishing his hold on her and replacing her sleeve.

Harry took a shuddering breath "I didn't… I wasn't talking about you back there" he said with a small smile not looking at her, but she quite intent on his face.

"It's me I meant" he paused to look at her "There's always something to be wrong with Harry Potter"

They stood there in the dampened light of the hallway both unsure how to part.

"It must drive you mad. What people say about you being insane" Pansy said watching him closely "The irony about it is, most of Slytherin isn't calling you insane behind your back Potter"

Harry watched her leave unsure what he could even say about that.

Xxx

Harry didn't have any more time to deal with Parkinson or let his thoughts dwell on her. The entire affair seemed nothing more than a dream only remembered when he went to work out his anger issues in the room. He found he wasn't snapping on Ron and Hermione as frequently as before but his scar seemed to cancel out that bit of good with its constant aches. They caught glimpses of each other at lessons and during her support of Draco's taunts but during these moments Harry went out of his way not to meet her eyes. Every time he thought of her all he could think about was his hands crushing her arms. The guilt of it all wasn't something he needed.

He took out the Marauder's map around curfew when it was Slytherin prefects patrols and he was gratified to catch her a couple of times seemingly walking around the hallway of their last exit from the room. Harry knew she wouldn't find an entry as he himself still wasn't sure where it was, apart from the sink hole. The exit seemed to shift on every occasion so he found her search amusing.

Xxx

Harry was having one his best weeks since he had been back in Hogwarts. He was in the library trying not to let his pleasant mood show. He had just walked by Draco and Co, none of them seeming pleased with him. This was all related to the interview he gave being published in the Quibbler. An interview that named a few supposed death eaters

"You seem quite pleased with yourself" Pansy said from his side

"Jesus" Harry whispered startled

She smirked

Harry sighed fearing his good mood would be in pieces in a few moments.

"Parkinson, to what do I owe the pleasure" Harry said sneaking a glance around himself to make sure Malfoy or and his cronies weren't waiting on the wings to jump him.

"Calm yourself Harry, I just came to talk" She said sweetly with a laugh when he flinched at the use of his first name. Good. She was hoping to unbalance him.

"Right, so…" He said waiting expectantly feeling anxious someone might see them together.

"I thought I might offer you some advice"

She turned as if looking for a book title in the opposite rack from Harry.

"God's help me if I take it" Harry said walking away continuing his search for the book he needed on partial vanishment.

Parkinson followed with a frown "Don't be daft Potter, I'm trying to help you"

"I don't believe that for a second, so why don't you tell me why you're really here" Harry said turning to give her his attention once more.

"Fine" She bit out "Why must you make everything so difficult Potter"

"Oh I don't know, must be something to do with your constant harassment of me and my friends all these years"

She rolled her eyes

"So what do you want"

"I need to go back into the room"

"No"

She grit her teeth looking away from him. She was hastily trying to control her temper and find the right words to ask for what she wanted.

"I need to get back into the room" she said in a whisper

"I take it you didn't find the entry during your rounds" he said with a knowing smile

She flushed

"Please" she said not meeting his eyes.

This surprised Harry

"Look-" Harry said stopping short as someone lingered by the section entrance before moving on.

"I see" Pansy said cutting him off before he could start denying her again "I'm only welcome when you need someone to take out your frustrations on"

Harry turned to her as if she'd struck him but just as quickly turning away from her; guilt evident in his features. Pansy didn't miss Potter's guilt but he missed her smirk.

"I didn't mean for that to happen. I-"

"Look Potter, I just need something in the room" She said cutting him off

Pansy kept her features neutral as they stared each other down but Harry caved first giving a small nod.

"I let you know when" He said before walking away giving her no room to argue.

Xxx

Pansy watched him go relieved the affair was over. She knew getting Potter to take her to the room again would be difficult. It was lucky for her he still felt guilty about giving her a shake otherwise she might have had to resort to seducing him. The thought of it flustered her enough without having to perform it. It boggled her how soft Potter was, which in turn made her feel slightly guilty for using his guilt over a little tiff. Still it was easily ignored. She had a potion to brew and would soon have the ingredients for it.

"Pansy" Draco called

"My Lord" she joked sweetly

He was frowning and her sweetness did nothing for it

"Were you just talking to Potter?" He asked

She gave a snort "Yes, I thought it only right I let him know that he would pay for his slander on your father's good character. The gall of the half-blood"

"Yes, Potter's arrogance knows no bounds" Draco said with a small smile "No wonder he left looking like a whipped dog"

"He's less than a dog" Pansy said with a fake smile of her own

"Let's head back together"

Pansy gave him a nod happy he was actively inviting her to be at his side, ignoring the distaste she unreasonably felt.

Xxx

Harry paced back and forth building up the storm within him. He wasn't sure who he was angry at more, Parkinson for guilting him into bringing her into the room, or himself for losing his temper and bruising her arms. He needed to get this under control, it already cost him playing quidditch this year and if he didn't get it under control it was only a matter of time before he gave Umbridge the opportunity she wanted to expel him. It drove him mad to imagine how he was constantly being victimized for doing what he assumed was right.

A flick of his wand and fire bloomed in a ball of fierce heat. It gratified him to see his magic respond so readily to his anger and soon he was lost in motions of destruction, scorching one part of the room and twisting around bombard another. He worked up much sweat and magical exhaustion in the process. It was taking longer for him to tire with every session but like all other sessions he soon found himself free of anger that he knew wasn't his own.

He slumped to the floor as the exhaustion caught up with him. He lay trying to get control of his breathing when his mind turned back to his occlumency lessons with Snape. He wasn't keeping up with Snape's suggested nightly mind clears. He was usually too tired to keep awake for it, but still there was slight guilt in it.

The dreams of the department of mysteries didn't stop much to his pleasure and displeasure. A part of him wanted to see what was in the room, while the other knew he should be doing his best to cease the dreams entirely. So here he lay conflicted and utterly alone. He didn't have anyone to tell him what to do and he was quite lost.

He took a deep breath and began clearing his mind but soon he was asleep and again following the corridor to the department of mysteries.

Xxx

Potter seemed to have a growing knack for sneaking up on her. He appeared behind her on her rounds enjoying the yelp she uttered. She didn't mind though since she assumed she was getting what she asked for. She had almost given up on Potter taking her back to the room but now he showed up out of nowhere after what felt like a month since their last meeting. He looked like hell, which didn't really matter since that's how he usually looked of late.

"Ever heard of a sleeping potion Potter? You look like you haven't slept in years"

"Is this what passes for concern in Slytherin? If so I don't need it"

Pansy shrugged "So are you going to let me back into the room or will you make me wait another month"

"Don't exaggerate it hasn't been that long" Harry said though he looked vaguely uncertain

"I'm impressed Potter; every time I see you, your self-absorption seems to grow"

Harry rolled his eyes ignoring her "On your next rounds"

She gave a cool nod "where will we meet? What time exactly"

Harry waved her off "I'll find you"

She watched him walk away feeling a bit alarmed at how he always seemed to know where she was. She shook off her concern and put her mind on catching anyone lurking past curfew.

xxx

"Shall we take it on together" Draco said catching Pansy on her way out of their common room.

She hid her uncertainty well in the fading light, turning to him with a sweet smile "Trying to get me alone mister Malfoy" she teased

Draco gave a smile of his own but she noted he seemed happier than usual.

"I don't deny or confirm that miss Parkinson, shall we set off"

She fell in step with him mentally cursing his timing to be spontaneous. She knew why he was in a good mood ofcourse. He had been telling anyone who could listen about Potter being in remedial potions with Snape. What's more he had born witness to professor Snape tossing Potter out after the lesson and watching him flee the scene like the worm only Draco could conceive him to be. This worried Pansy slightly, which worried her because she was worried about Potter in the first place. She was only worried because she needed him for the room she assured herself, merlin knew she didn't need another row with him. The pressing issue now though was she was supposed to be meeting Potter tonight, the fool hadn't even said where. She could only hope they didn't run into him unawares.

"You seem to be in a good mood lately" She said picking up conversation to chase the silence

Draco spared her a conspiratorial smile before taking out his wand.

"muffliato"

Pansy gave him a questioning look but already knew he was about to brag about something or other concerning his father.

"Just a precaution, father says it never hurts to be careful. Especially these days" he said pocketing his wand.

Pansy nodded sagely "So what secrets do we tell my lord"

"Oh nothing specific mind, but fathers written an interesting letter. It seems there are plans in the works."

"Plans? Are we to help then" She asked eagerly

He smiled at her enthusiasm, knowing she was one of his most faithful. He would have many faithful followers when more was needed of him. He could already imagine how pleased his father would be.

"Yes and no, father wants more misery piled on Potter, 'he mustn't have a moments rest' as it were" Draco said

"To what end" Pansy asked keeping her exasperation out of her voice

Draco flashed her grin once more "Not for us to know, but we will be rewarded"

Pansy paused at that "By your father?"

Draco smirked but didn't answer

"Did you hear that?" he said instead "I think I heard something"

He shuffled into an empty classroom before she could respond. Pansy joined him reluctantly, hoping it wasn't Potter. She entered to have the door quietly close behind her. She turned to find Draco giving her an uncertain smile.

"It seems miss Parkinson, we well and are truly alone" Draco said picking up their earlier flirtations.

Pansy gave a small laugh she hoped didn't betray how nervous she felt at the moment. He hadn't ever made an advance towards her and she was truly caught off guard.

"Whatever shall we do now" she asked timidly

She hated the sound of her own voice but ignored it, this was what she had wanted wasn't it. She straightened out her posture and gave what she hoped was an alluring look. The darkness of the room helped to hide her nervousness as he came towards her. There was no swagger in his step she noted. He was just as nervous she wagered.

"I can think of a few things" he said in a whisper

He took her hand and tugged her towards him. She let herself be pulled stopping short with their faces an inch apart. He trailed his hand to her waist and let it rest there.

"I" he started and stopped, correcting the squeak in his voice "I know I've never said it before, but I appreciate you Pansy"

"Is that your way of saying you fancy me Draco"

He smiled slightly "Yes I suppose it is"

"Well then, I suppose you better kiss me"

He was moving in to do just that when there was a bang against the door. They were quick to be apart. It took a few seconds before Draco found his voice and rushed to the door wand clenched in a tight fist.

"Who's there" he snarled

Pansy came up behind him and together they saw nothing but empty hallways. The sound of running could be heard after a moment but the sound was ambiguous in location.

Draco cursed and slipped on his inquisitor badge

"Probably a couple looking for an empty class room" Draco said looking left and right

"You go left, I'll go right" she said

Draco looked to argue until she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll see you back in the common room" She said with a wink before heading on the right corridor giving him no room to argue.

TBC

Xxx

Thanks for the favs and follows. Don't review if you don't have to, I have enough troubles with my own thoughts, don't feed my self-consciousness.


	3. Chapter 3

_I've always loved you, all of you…..I've never loved you, none of you._

 _Lupe Fiasco – Body of Work_

Chapter 3

It was strange to be so calm while was surrounded by scorched stone and destruction. He had just finished another session of releasing his pent up anger. He would need to be calm for his meeting with Parkinson. Harry's mood was elevated higher as he found with every session he seemed to be able to feed more power into his spells. He felt he would soon be able to perform some basic spells wordlessly. Still he wasn't comfortable with how much power he got when he fed his anger into his spells.

He put these thoughts away focusing on his coming meeting with Parkinson. A quick tempus told him she would soon be leaving the Slytherin common room. He cursed himself for forgetting the marauders map, but there was no matter, he knew her paths, she would be easy enough to find. He cleaned himself up and left the room as it put itself back together.

He left his sanctuary and headed towards the dungeons. He didn't know when he became so possessive over the room or why it felt so right to call it his sanctuary but it stuck and there was no one to fight him about it. He walked in dampened light in the cover of his invisibility cloak keeping track of where he was. He knew Parkinson and Malfoy always preferred taking side routes when leaving their common room, so Harry strayed from the main corridor leading to the Slytherin commons. He waited by her usual path before ducking into an open room when he heard footfalls ahead. This was too easy, he had to wonder if everyone was such a creature of habit.

It appeared not everything was to go to plan as Draco entered the class room followed by Parkinson. Harry could only mentally groan making sure to keep his distance as they flirted quite awkwardly.

"Whatever shall we do now" Parkinson asked Malfoy

"I can think of a few things" he answered in a whisper

Harry's skin crawled.

Malfoy took her hand and tugged her towards him. She let herself be pulled stopping short with their faces an inch apart. He trailed his hand to her waist and let it rest there.

Harry froze at that knowing something would have to be done, he didn't think he could take watching this happen. Malfoys attempt at being charming was sickening enough, anything more would scar him for life.

"I" Malfoy started and stopped, correcting the squeak in his voice "I know I've never said it before, but I appreciate you Pansy"

"Is that your way of saying you fancy me Draco" Parkinson said in answer

He smiled slightly "Yes I suppose it is"

"Well then, I suppose you better kiss me"

Harry was already on the move while they carried on with their whispers. He made sure to keep his feet silenced as he moved towards the door. He planned to slip out but a look back to watch Malfoy move in for the kiss diverged his actions. A sharp rap against the door was all it took to split them apart. It took a few seconds before Draco found his voice and rushed to the door wand clenched in a tight fist.

"Who's there" he snarled

Harry kept away from the door and watched them pounce out before separating to chase footfalls of someone else out past curfew.

Xxx

Harry caught up with Parkinson as soon as he was sure Draco was well and truly put off of continuing his little meeting with Parkinson. It gave him some pleasure to have interrupted their moment but not much. The incident with Snape's memories still weighed on him. His parents whom he felt he had known to be good people were nothing but strangers to him, and he didn't even want to think about how he had wronged Snape. A man's demons were never meant to be intruded on, and Harry was the prime example as they constantly sank their fangs into him.

He kept his cloak on as he followed Parkinson to the sinkhole. She turned occasionally looking straight at him but always shook off her paranoia. He had to applaud her instincts but she didn't know when to trust them. He watched her his eyes unintentionally taking in her frame and dark hair. He was grateful for the distraction. She was quite small for someone who exuded so much attitude, which he guessed he should have been grateful for since he doubted he could carry anyone larger all the way to the hospital wing. Thoughts of carrying her made him blush, he remembered the amount of times he had to adjust her skirt as it rode up. He shook his of thoughts of her legs and thighs, they were approaching the sinkhole.

They came upon the sinkhole and he watched her huff, probably cursing him or herself for Harry not being there. Harry retreated to remove his cloak before coming up from behind her. He was quiet until she was within a hands distance. It surprised him how easy it was to sneak up on her when he wanted to.

"Ready to go" he whispered into her ear

She screamed and Harry smiled as he watched horror turn to anger.

"What is wrong with you" She came at him before he could react and landed, what Harry could only describe as a karate chop, on his chest. There wasn't much violence in it and Harry was more surprised than hurt.

They both paused looking at the hand striking his chest. Harry couldn't keep the smile off his face as she quickly withdrew it her face burning. It seemed she wasn't proud of losing her cool.

"Well I think we've already established there's plenty wrong with me" Harry said moving past her

He waited at the entrance and she joined him not looking at his amused face. They fell and Pansy barely kept her feet, while Harry was graceful over the whole thing.

"So what is it you need" Harry asked stepping out of the plant life careful not to damage anything.

Pansy stood where she fell and looked around her with a squint

"Some ingredients" she commented impassively

Harry watched her look around some more before pulling out the potions journal he had let her keep. She flipped open a bookmarked page for reference before seeming to find what she needed in a plant which looked like asparagus but for the veins around it which glowed pink.

Harry summoned the book out of her hand careful to keep her current page open. He didn't really care what she hoped to brew, but he would be happy for any distraction from where his own thoughts wanted to go.

Parkinson was displeased

"Potter, give that back right now or I swear I'll curse you to oblivion"

Harry didn't respond quietly skimming the page. He felt more than saw the red light streaming towards him and easily got out the way. He turned to look at her, his expression quite surprised.

"Give it back Potter"

"You have to be joking" he said looking back to at the purpose of the potion

"No, you gave it to me fair and-"

Harry gave a snort tossing the book at her "Contraception potion"

She froze unable to catch the book while her face did the exact opposite by heating up. She watched Potter walk away warily shaking his head. She regained her dignity once left alone with the plants. She cursed him a thousand times, and hated how weak she sounded when she mentally accused him of violating her privacy. Still she took the ingredients, casting a preserving spell on them. She stood there a while watching the exit hesitant to join Potter in the other room. It was unreasonable she reasoned, to be embarrassed over this. She was just taking steps to ensure nothing unexpected happened. Still the thought of Potter's eyes as he connected the dots made her face heat up.

Pansy ignored her embarrassment and walked out. She found Potter by the fire, he was reading something or other about defence. Looking around the room she could tell he had been here more often. She could see parchment and inkwells on the study table. There were also many books about the study table that looked to have been removed from the book cases. Potter was watching her when she turned back to him.

"So contraception potion" he said ambiguously

She could tell from the look on his face he had more to say on the subject, and merlin she didn't want to hear it. This was the main problem with interacting with Potter, they just couldn't communicate without it feeling like walking on glass. That may have been a bit of an exaggeration but it was awkward enough to wince at every word. So far their communication faltered between being neutral or an attack on the other. They just couldn't talk without their defences up.

"It's no concern of yours" She said crossing her arms

"So who's the unlucky bloke"

She glared at him refusing to answer though unsurprised he reverted to an attack

"Malfoy I assume" Harry said flippantly

"I wish to leave now" She hissed at him treading the neutral zone

"I saw the two of you in that classroom" Harry said watching her with a frown

She sputtered at that looking ready to level her wand on him again

"I was already in the classroom" he said hands raise in appeasement.

"Umbridge was right you are a pervert" she attacked

Harry frowned stifling the urge to snap back at her

"So you plan on…having…" Harry trailed off feeling his face heat up before he could get sex out of his mouth.

"I don't see how that's any concern of yours"

Harry was quiet then but still held her eyes. She could see he was building up to something. She could proclaim she didn't want to hear it, but again, as how she ended up here again, she was curious at what he would say.

"You seemed pretty relieved when the interruption came between you and Draco"

"You should mind your own relationships Potter. From what I hear you have your hands full juggling Chang and Granger" She said hoping to deflect his attention.

Pansy had heard of the incident during hogsmeade weekend, of Chang blowing up on Potter over his supposed affections for Granger. She didn't care if it was the truth or not, right now it was deflecting from something she didn't want to talk about.

Harry looked to snap at her but stopped short, he knew she was trying to rile him up. He composed himself, not for the last wondering why he didn't just kick her out and be done with their interactions.

This he thought but knew the real reason he kept bringing her around had nothing to do with her personally. He was using her. This twisted him slightly but ever since he saw the memory of his parents in Snape's pensive he had been taken with thoughts on how his mother, who had seemed to dislike his father so much, had ended up marrying and having a baby with him. It was messing with him. More so in terms of how he was viewing Parkinson. She was decidedly nasty when they met crew for crew but when they were alone it seemed more act than genuine feeling. She exuded more nonchalance than malice every time they met alone, with less spite in her taunts. He was drawing on his situation with her in to relate with his parent's relationship. He hoped he could explain or find understanding in it if he and Pansy could at the very least be civil with each other. That though seemed to be wishful thinking.

"If you believe that, one would have to put stock in the rumour of our spectacular rendezvous" Harry said with a small smile.

Pansy arched an eyebrow at him keeping the spike of amusement off her face. She knew he was trying to be funny but she wasn't ready to be amused by Potter. His smile fell at her stony expression and she allowed herself a small smile. Her smile grew at Potter's uncertain expression. He exuded self-consciousness. Constant overconfidence from certain housemates made it refreshing.

"Spectacular is a gross exaggeration" she said walking to take a seat on the couch next to his.

Harry allowed himself a smile "Will it be enough?"

She gave him a questioning look

He gestured to the package in her hand.

"Good enough for a few potions" she said momentarily flustered

Harry gave a slow nod "Well if you need more let me know"

Pansy gave her own nod unsure where that bit of civility was heading

"You've been in here more frequently" she said gesturing to the mess of ink wells and books behind them.

Harry gave a nod "I like it, it's quiet and private"

"You have all this to yourself but still look like death crawled over you" she said eying his dishevelled state

"it's a rough year" he said bitterly

Pansy hesitated a step "You should rest more"

Harry caught her hesitance and wondered if it was that difficult for her to show concern for another person. Still it was progress that they were talking without snapping at each other.

"Easier said than done" Harry muttered

"Have you found anything interesting on the shelves" Pansy asked turning the conversation away from her thoughts on the plans Draco had conspired were being set up against Potter.

Harry hesitated, he was still uncertain about talking freely with her, some part of him expected all this coming back to give him a good knifing in the back.

"There isn't anything useful yet, most of it is all theory and goes way over my head"

"Most of it?"

Harry paused in thought a moment before standing and gesturing for Parkinson to follow. They walked into the room Harry had been using for venting his frustrations. Harry stood away from her watching her take in the room. No doubt she expected destruction but the room healed itself after every abuse.

"I've been working on a spell I found in an old book called distraction to destruction"

Pansy snorted "I'm surprised you found anything useful in a book with that title"

Harry didn't argue "You'd be surprised, care for a demonstration?"

Pansy stepped back gesturing for him to have at it.

Harry ran through the wand movements in his hand before taking a breath.

"Ego-duplicatam" he said feeding the pull on his magic

"Seems like it needs a more practise" Pansy said with a bemused smile as nothing happened

"I beg to differ" A voice said faintly behind her.

Pansy jumped and whirled to find…nothing. She turned back to Potter who was coming towards her with an amused smile.

"Look" he said turning her around again. She was aware of his proximity but ignored it in favour of what he was pointing at.

She couldn't see anything at first but then she saw what he wanted her to see. The light kept shifting in front of them. She gave a startled squeak as she recognised what she was looking at. It was very faint and barely there but it was a projection of Potter.

Pansy gave a cough coming back to herself "That's impressive Potter"

Harry gave an uncertain chuckle "I still need more practise but it's a start"

"it's very advanced" she said thoughtfully "but I don't see its use outside of being a good parlour trick"

Harry hesitated again thinking it better he should keep his not so thought out plans to himself.

"What's got you thinking Potter?" she asked softly seeing him watch her

"Can I trust you Pansy?" The use of the first name made her flinch

She didn't like the way he looked at her then, it was too earnest and hopeful.

"Don't do that Potter" she said breaking eye contact to look around the room coolly

"Don't do what?"

"Throw the quaffle. Can you trust me? That's not for me to tell you, make up your own mind. People lie. The least you can do is blame yourself for believing the lies"

Harry looked confused "So I shouldn't trust you?"

Pansy sighed "That's not what I said"

"Then I should trust you?"

Pansy groaned while Harry gave a faint smile. She could easily throw out a lie to sweep all this away but she found it wasn't something she wanted to do. Had she ever had a relationship with other people which held any aspect of trust? of course not. She had friends but it was always an assumption that everyone is acting in their own interests. As soon as interests diverged so would the course of the relationship.

"You can't trust me" She said meeting his stare impassively "but I can make you a promise?"

He nodded for her to continue

"I will never talk about anything I see or do while in here, I'll keep your secrets between us" she said

Harry was puzzled, why would she make that promise but insist he shouldn't trust her.

"What I cannot promise, and what you can't trust, is that I won't one day use what I know against you" she elaborated

Harry gave thought to her words mauling over the implications. After a moment he gave a wary smile turning back to her.

"I would sometimes wonder if I didn't belong in Slytherin, but I think you've just settled that debate for me" Harry said coming towards her once more.

"And?"

"I wouldn't have been a good Slytherin. I'll take your promise and trust you not to do me wrong"

Pansy gave him a controlled incredulous look before giving a sniff and looking away "Your funeral Potter, just know you have only yourself to blame in the end"

"There's plenty of blame at my feet, what's a little more" Harry said momentarily going in to a daze

Pansy coughed

"Distraction to destruction" Harry said breaking from his slight depression "ego duplicatam creates a projection of the spell caster"

Pansy nodded for him to continue

"when mastered and given enough power they can act independently for a short time and even send out weak spells. They are made to distract and confuse an enemy, the writer of the book said it was possible to create more than one projection at a time. He himself had managed to create three projections of himself in one casting"

Pansy was looking at him funny when he finished. Harry questioned her look.

"Nothing, it's an amazing spell" she said with a nod before smirking "but not at all Gryffindor"

Harry didn't know what to say to that so he shrugged at her "want to give it a go?"

She was uncertain but she agreed and watched as Potter spelled the words out for her in the air between them. She was impressed but didn't let it show as she listened to him go through what he assumed was the proper pronunciation. The moment of true difficulty came when it was time to go through the proper wand movements. Potter's fluid demonstrations made her admire how he seemed to be made to wield a wand. Step swish flick twirl and flick she watched him move and admired.

"Got it?" he asked turning back to her

She hid her blush well and gave an uncertain nod. She went through the motions but she wasn't perfect.

"Here" Harry said coming behind her to hold her hand and lead her into the motions. Instructing the DA had made him comfortable in these roles.

He was at her back breathing into her ear as he whispered the movements for her to remember. His arm stretched against hers twined her fingers and led the movements.

"ego duplicatam" they whispered together

Light gathered and the room darkened to reveal two whole and all too real figures staring right back at them. They were in the same position as the casters but differences were quick to be recognised. The projected Harry and Pansy stood much closer together without the respectful distance Harry had put between her rear and his lower area. Projected Harry seemed to have buried his face in Pansy's hair and ear. Projected Pansy leaned back into Harry eyes closed in what looked like bliss.

Pansy's wand fell from their grasp and the illusion released with light filtering back into the room. They were quick to be apart both their faces burning at what they had seen.

"That... that was amazing" Harry said finding his voice "I've never been able to cast one that solid"

He crouched to retrieve pansy's wand grateful not to look at her.

"Ah yes clearly superior blood and all that" she said hastily and uncertainly

Harry ignored that and held out her wand for her to take. Static magic sparked where both hand touched the wand and it hit the floor once more. They didn't say a word simply watching the wand on the floor.

Pansy picked up her wand and left the room.

Harry took his time to follow her out, he didn't know what just happened and he wasn't looking to assume anytime soon. He followed her out minutes later.

"ego-duplicatam" she said loudly and clearly as he came into the room

Harrys heart skipped a beat at her levelling her wand at him unexpectedly. They both looked around but nothing had changed, not even a change in light could be seen.

"Superior blood and all that" Harry said with a smile

She half glared at him turning away to hide her own amusement.

"Ready to leave?" He asked after a few moments of awkward silence.

"Are you throwing me out Potter" She teased

"what- no, I just assumed-"

She laughed a little "Relax Potter I'm just having you on. Yes, I think it best I leave"

Potter gave her a look as he turned to go.

"What" she asked suspiciously

Harry gave a chuckle "I don't think I've ever heard you genuinely laugh in my presence"

Harry led the way out missing how she stiffened at his comment.

Xxx

"Harry!"

The shout broke Harry from his daze to catch Hermione's concern. Damn. He had just only managed to get her off his back over the sudden end to his Occlumency lessons, he didn't need to be setting off any more bells.

"Sorry, just thinking about our upcoming OWLs" He lied

Hermione watched him a beat, knowing he was lying,

"You've been distant ever since you stopped your Occlumency lessons with Snape. Did something happen?"

"I'm fine, just tired. I should get to bed" Harry said getting up to go. He knew he was delaying the inevitable but he just wasn't up to be picked apart just yet by Hermione.

Hermione took his hand before he could run from her. She caught his eyes grateful Ron had already gone to bed. Ron always affected Harry's ability to be honest with her.

"I know somethings wrong" She said hesitantly "You've been disappearing for hours and no one knows where you are"

Harry hesitated some, deliberately avoiding direct eye contact with her because he knew she would know he was lying. This in itself was an admission of guilt but it was all he could do to fend her off.

"I've been working on my anger issues. I'm sick of always snapping at you when I know all you want to do is help" Harry said in a half truth

She gave a slow nod knowing he was holding something back but she didn't want to be overbearing or confess how she came to suspect he was hiding something from them.

"If you need to talk I'm always here for you Harry, I'll always understand"

This was what made withholding from Hermione difficult. It didn't matter what he told her, he knew she would be understanding and do whatever was best for him.

"Thanks mione, goodnight" Harry said retreating from her

"Good night Harry" she said

She watched him go all too curious about what he was up to. She had decided she would be patient and let him tell her what he was up to when he was ready. She had already followed him on his late nights to see him spying on Draco and Parkinson. She didn't want to make assumptions so she would wait. Still being on the outside of Harry's actions for once didn't sit right with her.

Xxx

"Do you know why I've summoned you here" Snape asked from behind his desk

The low light of the room shrouded his eyes to nothing but inky blots. This set Pansy on edge never having received the full attention of their head of house.

"No sir" She said

"I know you've been spending some of your time with Harry Potter" He said gravely

Pansy stiffened with a spike of fear at who else might know.

"I don't-" she started

"Don't waste both our time by trying to lie to me" He said dismissively cutting her off.

She grew quiet unsure how to proceed in this. She was saved from having to say anything when Snape continued.

"I find myself in wonder why a smart young woman like yourself wouldn't know the consequences of the company we keep" he said like it was a threat.

"Professor-"

"Quiet" he hissed "I will talk and you will listen"

She nodded

"Potter has an inane ability of drawing others to him. He is a quicksand of sorts, it's not until you start to sink that you realize what you've gotten yourself into. There waits a violent end for Potter but he has a knack for keeping himself alive, which is more than I can say for those around him. Keep away from Potter." He said watching her frozen in her seat.

"You're excused"

Pansy didn't need telling twice, she was up and out of his sight in seconds. Snape watched her go impassively wondering if his words would be enough to dissuade her from being drawn into Potter's affairs. The last thing they needed was Potter being poisoned by someone with ambiguous alliances. Not for the last time he cursed Potter's unmatched stupidity.

TBC

I won't be posting more until next year. Call centre is hell around this time of year so I get home too tired to do anything but watch tv and sleep. Westworld was great. Thanks for the follows, all those unseen eyes are like being naked in public but slowly getting aroused. I'm not into that, I'm just saying.


	4. Chapter 4

_**..Damn the dark, damn the light..**_

 _ **Fleetwood Mac – the Chain**_

Chapter 4

She hissed once more to no avail. She didn't know what she was doing and felt more fool every time she tried to access the sinkhole. The funny bit was she could have asked Potter to find her but she had been decidedly avoiding running into him alone. That made her trying to enter the room contradictory to her actions this past week. Snape had put sturdy enough fear in her and it felt like she was waking up from a delusion she didn't realize she had been having. Keeping secrets with Potter and having semi civil conversations like they were tentatively becoming friends? Merlin professor Snape was right about the whole quick sand bit. She shook the thought away knowing she was falling into her old characteristics of blaming Potter for their interactions. She was her own master and she had to admit the intrigue of being around Potter had made this year a little more exciting. There were so many years of constantly hazing and haunting Potters indifferent shadow before they all blurred and it began to bore. She couldn't understand how Draco could give so much of his time to being Potter's adversary when it seemed the only time Potter noticed him was when they were in front of him.

She sighed turning to go. She was disappointed to find the corridor behind her still remained empty. Was she hoping Potter would find her again? She didn't know. She was conflicted and knew this couldn't be good for her relations in Slytherin. She would have to shed this slump soon.

She took a breath and left thoughts of Potter and the room behind her as she made her way back to Slytherin. She entered the Common room to find it mostly empty but for two of her female year mates and Goyle who seemed to be reading by the fire. The latter was probably waiting for Draco's return. Goyle didn't notice her enter but Millicent and Daphne did and were quick to signal her to join them. They sat on a study table away from Goyle and she joined them with a reserved small smile.

"Studying going well?" Pansy asked uncertainly not feeling up to company

Millicent waved her off "Never mind that, look at Goyle, tell me what you notice"

She watched him a moment and smiled "He's reading?"

Daphne gave an amused snort "Yes but no. see he's chewing something"

She turned to watch and true enough he was chewing something. She gave the two amused girls a questioning look.

"If he was eating food there would be more evidence" Millicent gestured to the lack of a mess

Pansy observed, and indeed there were no wrappers, containers around Goyle and neither was he licking fingers as he did when he ate. She gave a small laugh figuring it out.

"He's chewing a nail" she said thinking they hadn't figured it out

Daphne gave an obligatory disgusted look before nodding that this they already knew.

"He's been at it for fifteen minutes now" Millicent chimed in

"We know Crabbe and Goyle can be ghastly, what's your point" she asked tiring of their talk

"Yes we know, but we don't know how far this one will take it. Will he spit or will he swallow?" Millicent said clearly amused.

Pansy was confused and disgusted "Of course he'll spit…I mean he has to"

"Care for a little wager" Daphne smirked at her

Pansy groaned at that. She should have known this was coming with Daphne and Millicent being together past the late nights. The girls always found something or other to wager against one another to chase their boredom and now they were roping her into it.

Pansy gave an earnestly amused chuckle "I'll have to pass; these odds are not in my favour"

Millicent shrugged turned back to watch Goyle "will you stay to watch the outcome"

"I'm horrified but I might as well"

There they sat watching him continue to chew for many more minutes seeming genuinely engrossed in the book held in his lap. Goyle must have possessed some miniscule of instinct as he seemed to prick up at the attention. Slow -as was his nature- he glanced around the room from ceiling, to the stairs before settling his eyes on the girls watching him. By some telepathic connection they had all settled on stony expressions.

"What?" he asked giving them that blank expression one would associate with cattle.

They sniggered much to his puzzlement.

"They are watching you chew on your nail you brute. How many times must I tell you not to do that" Zabini said from the common room entrance.

No one had heard him come in or had any idea how long he had been there.

Goyle frowned at them eyes darting between Blaise and the girls.

"Well spit it out you oaf" Blaise said coming deeper into the room.

Goyle pursed his lips in anger but it was easily dissected for the shame beneath. Blaise was the first to react.

"Good god, he's already swallowed it" He said horrified

Daphne and Millicent were in stiches by the time he finished, though it was unclear what they found more amusing; Goyle or Blaise's horror. Blaise warily shook his head and stalked away with a shudder. Goyle let the situation roll over him before shrugging and returning to his book unfazed.

Pansy was amused and grateful for her housemates' antics keeping her mind clear of her own thoughts. She stood bidding the girls a goodnight. They reciprocated half-heartedly with Greengrass demanding Millicent pay up her loss in the bet.

She gave the girls a parting look, envious of their friendship. They all considered each other friends but she knew that was more the culture of Slytherin house than their own genuine feelings. They were a tight knit group always standing together as they were constantly perceived as bad people, though they did nothing to dissuade that opinion.

She soon found herself settled in her bed, thoughts toiling within her, going in circles that always ended with a simple question. Would she stay away from Potter from now on? The answer was yes but then again she was known to lie. She sighed, her mind idly turning to the spell Potter had taught her. She sat up to finding her wand and slowly going through half remembered wand motions Potter seemed so versed in.

"ego-duplicatam" she said and was gratified to see the room dim slightly but nothing else was to be seen.

She smiled slightly replacing her wand, imagining sneering at Potter about her superior blood.

Xxx

Hermione shivered occasionally at his side, it was warm out so it was clear it wasn't the cold that caused her spasms. They were walking back to the castle with Hagrid leading the way. It was a sober mood filled with so much concern and frustration that no one had spoken since their run in with the centaurs. Their promises that Hagrid wouldn't live past another meeting with them in the forbidden forest had set them on edge. They had just come back from the brief misadventure of meeting Hagrid's half-brother, whom Hagrid requested that they check in on after he was fired from his Hogwarts position. Hermione hadn't recovered from the events and clung to Harry seeming frightened and deep in thought.

Harry felt her exasperation with the situation but at a lesser state, if anything he was calm. His vents in the room and half practised sessions of clearing his mind seemed to be helping steady his mind but not by much. Between studying, worrying about Umbridge, dealing with Snape's disfavour, and the dreams; Harry was stretched quite thin. So what was a little more trouble piled on him. He gave Hermione a squeeze trying to be reassuring but he wasn't sure it got through with the neutrality in his face.

She smiled slightly but he could see she was still distressed with Hagrid's request. He could commiserate with her, which was an improvement in their relationship. They hadn't been dealing with each other very well. With her constant nagging over his occlumency and his sneaking into Umbridge's office to talk to Sirius, they weren't communicating very well.

They cleared the forest and paused at the edge of the forest. Hagrid gazed and observed with disinterest that the Slytherin and Gryffindor game had ended. They parted with Hagrid and made their way back to the castle. Harry paused as they came close enough to hear chants of "Weasley is our King", gods he hated that chant, Slytherins certainly knew their business when getting under your skin.

"What is it?" Hermione asked as he turned to face her

He smiled thinly "we look like we've been rolling in the bushes"

Harry saw that she looked much the worse for wear; her hair was full of twigs and leaves, her robes were ripped in several places and there were numerous scratches on her face and arms. He began pulling twigs and leaves from her hair. She fidgeted with his attention but it was done quickly and a wordless reparo fixed her robes. She blinked a couple times at that, watching him do the same to his robes.

"Any trees growing out of my hair?" Harry asked

She nodded gesturing he should bend over slightly so she could get at his hair.

"Not turning vain on me are you Harry" She asked removing debris from his hair

"I doubt our similar state of disarray would help the rumours being spread after Cho's little outburst" Harry said with a chuckle.

Hermione was glad he couldn't see her blush.

"Why does he have to make life so difficult for himself- for us" Hermione questioned as she finished fixing his hair.

Harry rightly assumed she was referring to Hagrid bringing his half-brother into the forest and now asking them to check in after he got the sack.

Harry could hear the emotion thick in her voice and didn't dare look to see if her eyes were filling with tears.

"it's a difficult year for us all and I understand it I guess, the need for family"

Hermione didn't say anything as they walked closer to the entrance hall trying to beat the quidditch match crowd before they could be taunted by the Slytherins. What they didn't expect to see was Ron being carried into the castle while he waved the quidditch cup in the air. The moment was priceless and both shared a smile and an elevated mood for the moment. They agreed to save the news of Hagrid's request with Ron for tomorrow.

"Harry" Hermione called his attention as they walked into the castle and made for their common room.

"hmmm" he said coming out of a daze. He had been clearing his mind.

"You have been keeping up with your occlumency haven't you" she seemed to pleading for it to be true.

Harry gave a guilty shrug he didn't feel like lying or giving half-truths today.

"Oh harry" she started up

"Calm down" Harry said with a sigh "I'm trying it's just not easy"

"You should hurry and ask professor Snape to start up the lessons again" she said

He didn't like how she ignored his plight on how it wasn't easy. He sighed feeling pinpricks of anger clouding his mind. He had been promising to talk to Snape but procrastination was rampant in that department.

Harry gave a nod "Listen, I'll catch up with you. I should go study or something"

Hermione watched him go hating that he always left her presence with a cloud of depression and anger clinging to him. Didn't he know she only wanted what was best for him.

"Harry wait"

He looked back looking like it took effort to keep his face blank

"Listen, I won't ask about occlumency anymore or keep at you about Snape. I'm just worried about you that's all"

Harry watched her a moment his face falling to fatigue. He walked away from her. Hermione looked ready to storm away when he turned back to her.

"Are you coming?" he asked

Xxx

"Harry this is simply amazing"

She was looking up at the ball of light. The curiosity had taken the better of her as Harry expected. She brought her hand up watching the light falling over her palm with wonder.

"I know. The lack of heat is interesting for that amount of light"

Hermione simply nodded but seemed to be only half-heartedly listening

"What is this room" She asked shaking off her daze turning to Harry

"Old quarters of an Air to Slytherin headmaster we assume" Harry said taking her hand and leading her out of the plant life carefully.

She nodded "That explains the parseltongue trigger. What do you mean by we"?

"Professor Dumbledore, he came here with me after the incident with Parkinson"

That seemed to open up the door for many questions and Harry internally groaned at Hermione's barrage but he answered anyway. He told her of how Parkinson and himself had ended up here but left out their continued association. He told her about the rooms, and the books.

"I want to show you something" Harry said as they entered the main.

She followed obediently though Harry sensed she was waiting for the right opportunity to check out the room without restriction.

He led her to the main table now only marred by his study texts and the few books he found on the shelves he could actually understand. What he wanted to show Hermione was a text he hoped would get her off his back. Harry stopped short of the table standing aside. Hermione didn't seem to need telling as she crept past him shooting him a curious glance as she approached the table.

"The old black text growing grey" Harry directed as she began sifting through the books on the table.

She was careful picking it up and paging as if fearing it would turn to dust at her touch. This reminiscent of the day he found it himself but Harry let her take her time. He took his mind off her for the moment and tried to put his mind into a calm. Clearing his head was becoming easier if not addictive with its help in fending off his unstable emotions.

Harry could sense he could stop the dreams Dumbledore and Snape seemed so against if he tried a little harder but he still wasn't sure he wanted to. The possibility of seeing something significant and his curiosity about the room brought conflict in his decision making.

Harry was brought out of his internal musings and calming as Hermione gave a startled squeak. He watched her turn back to him already knowing she has figured the text was about the Mind Arts. He was uncomfortable with the glee, confusion and uncertainty on her face.

"Read" Harry said before she could speak.

She seemed even more uncertain as she gave a hesitant nod and sat herself down to do what she did best. She watched Harry from the corners of her eyes and only started to read when he stayed constant on one of the coaches a little away from her

Xxx

Hermione read and with every word and instruction her heart sank. The book was quite clear in its instruction and from it she could easily glean that occlumency was a fantastic part of magic. Fantastic it may have been but it was mind magic and no human is easily the master of their own mind. The introduction of the text made it clear that one should not expect to be a master overnight, it took years to get into and it was up in the air whether one could ever become a master.

She sighed "Okay, point made"

Harry perked up at her voice

"Depressing no?" he tried to joke

"A little, but you must try Harry" she said smiling weakly

"Maybe I should stay down here and forget about the O. and Umbridge and just focus on keeping Voldemort out of my head hoping it works" He said put off that the book hadn't put her off.

Hermione shrugged and gave him a small smile "Well I know you'll do the right thing"

Harry scoffed but it was in good humour "Ready to leave?"

Hermione looked ready to protest but Harry was quick to point out they had a Gryffindor party to attend.

Xxx

The following days passed in a buzz of anxious studies in hopes to get ready for the OWLs. This seemed to come as a blessing to Harry as he found Hermione had little time to spend going over the sanctuary so she left her curiosity alone for the time being. Harry appreciated this, knowing she already could guess he preferred to be down there alone. Still it surprised him how little grief both she and Ron gave him about not letting them in on the secret room early on. Harry could only guess the upcoming exams had them all too busy to over analyse the situations around.

Presently the three of them were gathered in the sanctuary studying, or at least trying to. Harry could see Ron had fallen into a daze reviewing a thought or other. He himself felt like he couldn't read another word, and this was permeated by an itch he couldn't place and a scuttling sound he couldn't place. He needed to clear his mind.

"I'm stuck, I need a break" Harry said flexing his neck and running his hand through his hair trying to find the itch to no avail.

Ron perked up at that "maybe we should pick this up tomorrow"

"You seem entirely too happy about that Ron, I'm sure you have an hour more in you" Hermione said not looking up from her text

Ron looked to protest but stopped short when he noticed Hermione give him a look from the corners of her eyes. Harry chuckled and made to head into the venting room.

"How come Harry gets to take a break" Ron sulked

Hermione sighed "I'm not your mother Ron, do as you please"

"I know" he said with a pause and caught Harry watching him with a smirk

"But I guess I could stick around for another hour"

"I'm going to try clear my mind, I think the occlumency is helping me study better" Harry said in an afterthought as he left the room not daring to look at Hermione's triumphant look.

They may have claimed to be independent but truth was they- Harry and Ron- could hardly ever stand up to Hermione, because deep down they knew whatever came out of her mouth would inevitably be in their best interest. Harry had found he was now practising clearing and ordering his mind atleast twice a day.

He was taking his instruction from the book but he didn't know how well it was working without anyone to test him. He briefly thought of asking Hermione or Ron to attempt to penetrate his mind but he just couldn't work up the courage to invite them into his mind. He resolved to beg for Snape to take up his abuse again but procrastination was still the name of the game.

Harry entered the bleak stone room and sealed the door behind him. He cast a cushioning charm on the floor before having a seat in the middle of the room. A few deep breaths and he felt ready. He wasn't sure what he was actually doing or if there was progress being made. What he did know was these exercises brought him calm and the pressure he felt building within him lessen.

Fifteen minutes in Harry could no longer feel himself in the room, he felt himself in a trance and floating in unending darkness. This had started recently but still he didn't know what to think as the book on mind arts said the beginner stages of occlumency was different for everyone but the user would know when he could start along organised mind alteration. This brought little comfort as there were a few pages missing in the book before the chapter on mind defence started.

This trance felt different though. He was floating accompanied by a sense of imbalance as though there was a force whipping around him. This was how it went for many more minutes, Harry was no longer counting, he simply waited. The moment he had waited for on instinct came and before he could orient himself he had one knee on solid ground with his right hand supporting him in half crouch. He was confused and had a hard time shaking off grogginess as though he had just woken up from a deep dream.

Harry stood shaky and uncertain at the foggy darkness around him. He felt for his wand but it wasn't to be found on his person. He supposed he had reached some kind of benchmark in his occlumency but now what? He didn't know. The worry crept up another scale as he wondered if he could even wake from this state.

He needed to wake and try again with more information or maybe guidance from Snape. Harry concentrated trying to force himself to wake but it made no difference. Harry found it strange to note he felt…good all things considered. He felt at peace, like this was where he was supposed to be. With each passing moment of trying to wake he found himself wanting to stay in this state a little longer.

'Maybe I could stay a little longer' he mused as though he could leave

This thought brought anxiety he couldn't place. He knew this feeling, he had felt this ease and peace before. The thought was murky but to his horror it became quite clear. It felt like the imperious curse moody cast on him the previous year.

The scuttling sound and itch he had felt before returned again. There was movement behind him. Harry was quick to turn levelling a wand that wasn't there. He couldn't see anything as he looked around but he could hear the scuttling movement around him. He distractedly itched the back of his neck and head. He watched and waited. He was gripped by fear of being defenceless and helpless. Round and round something circled him. Harry didn't have to wait long for the other shoe to drop.

The sound of movement stopped and Harry was left in silence. He couldn't even feel the presence anymore. He scratched his neck and head again.

Undistracted any longer his scratching brought with it new information. The shape of the back of his head felt unfamiliar. There was something protruding from his head. Harry's heart skipped beats and beat with urgency. He slowly felt the ridges behind his head. There was movement as he felt his head and before he could move his hand something clamped down on his index finger. Harry ripped out his finger with a cry, thoughts of Quirell blanketing his mind.

It took a moment before he heard his cry and hyperventilating were accompanied by mewling coming from the back of his head.

Hysteria threatening, Harry closed his eyes willing himself to wake. There was a change and Harry opened his eyes to find he was bathed in light. He ignored it and was quick to feel his head but found nothing of the horror of before.

He relaxed only to hear movement behind him. He turned already knowing it would be too late. He turned to see a blur of teeth and claws running at him. Harry tried to back pedal but it jumped at him. It was inches from his face screeching and clawing when everything faded.

Xxx

Harry woke to find himself looking up at the ceiling of the sanctuary. He sighed with relief assuming he had been dreaming after falling asleep while clearing his mind. His mind cleared and he noted the ceiling wasn't the correct pattern of stone from the venting room. He tried to stand only to have a scream ripped out of him by sharp pain from his wand arm to his shoulder.

Harry stilled and waited

"Harry talk to us"

It was Hermione. Her voice was frightened and guarded all in one

"Hermione? Ron?" he called out delirious with pain and uncertainty.

There was movement somewhere around him and Harry squirmed, thoughts of the rat like creature fresh in his mind. Something hit him and Harry was frozen in horror.

Ron and Hermione appeared above him. Concern, fear and caution was on their faces. This look he knew, and was more or less reserved when shit was hitting the fan. Frozen by a spell they watched him a moment before Hermione jerked her wand and the spell fell away.

"My arm" Harry groaned

He clenched a fist and felt pricks of pain run through his muscles. What the hell happened to him.

"I'm so sorry Harry" Hermione said crouched down next to him

He gave her a confused look "What happened"

"That's our line mate" Ron said watching him pensively

"Did you have another dream about Voldemort?" Hermione asked

Harry was quiet a moment collecting his thoughts before answering

"No… at least I don't think so, but something happened while I was practising occlumency, some kind of bad reaction I think"

Hermione and Ron shared a look

"Harry you attacked us" Hermione said

"Yeah, one minute we're reading up next thing you're walking up backwards and throwing spells" Ron supplied after her

"What?" Harry asked confused

"You came out of the room and started casting curses at us Harry. Spells I've never seen you use Harry" Hermione said calming down.

"And you were walking backwards. I think you broke your arm using it the wrong way" Ron observed

Harry looked to Hermione for some kind of sense but she only nodded. Harry saw that she and Ron still held their wands and were tense. Were they afraid of him?

Harry sat up with a wince testing his right arm, pin pricks of sharp pain went up his arm and shoulder as he tried to make a fist. It was hell to move and bend but Harry could tell it wasn't broken, fractured or sprained, he wasn't sure.

"So I came in, shot spells while walking backwards and twisting my arm the wrong way"

"Yeah, lucky for us too" Ron said gesturing behind him

Harry looked to find the couches blasted to pieces and smoke rising off the study table split in half. Harry could only gape at the damage while a picture of what happened tried to assemble itself in his mind.

"We stopped you shortly after, you didn't seem to be you" Hermione said in an afterthought.

Harry sighed and hung his head feeling drained and depression slowly creeping into his bewilderment. Of course this would happen just when he thought he was making progress with his occlumency. Would it be possible for Voldemort to have been responsible for this? He couldn't know. He was back to square one feeling completely out of his depth and Dumbledore wasn't around to help him figure it out.

"Help me up" Harry said quietly

They did and Harry was happy to note they had put away their wands.

"I think it's time we left. Grab your things"

They did and Harry looked around and couldn't see much more damage other than the table and the couches. Harry retrieved his wand finding it discarded a little away from where he lay. Wand in hand Harry felt unsteady on his feet with his vision foggy at the corners. He felt a sense of disorientation he couldn't shake but he ignored it, he wondered if a reparo could fix the damage around the room. He was uncertain if the main room would self-correct once they stepped out. Harry gave a gesture with his wand and fed the pull on his magic.

The couches repaired and went back to their positions and the table fixed itself with texts from the book shelves floating away to where they were retrieved from in the first place. Harry blinked, that wasn't expected. Harry could feel their gazes on him but wouldn't and didn't allow himself to face them, he didn't need their doubt to muddle in his own.

"We should get you to madam Pomphrey mate" Ron said after a moment moving to his side in case he passed out. Harry didn't miss the hesitation before he stood at his side.

They were too quiet and it was giving Harry a sinking feeling.

"What's happening to me?" Harry asked deliriously feeling anaemic.

"Later" Hermione said "Let's get you to the hospital wing first"

"No "Harry protested deliriously

"I need Snape" Harry said with reluctance and doubt

xxx

They stood outside the latest exit and Harry let Ron check for Snape on the marauders map. He was feeling sturdier on his feet but not a whole lot. Hermione fidgeted at his side while Ron stood away from them going over the map with a controlled luminos lighting up his sight.

"Tell me" Harry said softly to Hermione "I know somethings on your mind"

"Voldemort" she said hesitantly "He might have led you to the room"

Harry was ready to protest but she held out a hand for him to wait

"I've been thinking it's too much of a coincidence that you start hearing parseltongue whispers again when he might be invading your mind" she said pensively

"To what end?" Harry asked tiredly seeing her reasoning

"I don't know, but you said it yourself, Dumbledore thought it best you keep away from the room."

Harry was silent realising Hermione hadn't been much interested in the room because she had long since been suspicious of it. There were no coincidences when it came to Harry Potter, this had become quite clear over the years.

Harry sighed and nodded in agreement with her but unable to make promises of whether or not he would stay away. He caught Hermione watching him and he knew she was conscious of his noncommittal agreement with her. They turned to Ron, he had been waiting for them to finish talking,

"Found him. He's making his way down from the astronomy tower, we could catch on his way down"

"Let's get on with it"

T.B.C

Chapter didn't come together right, sorry. Yappy Hew Near


	5. Chapter 5

_Note: Did you see the cover art? Comes from a Fleetwood mac album; Rumors. Give it a listen._

 _..It's tough to stay objective, baby…with your tongue abseiling down my neck.._

 _Emoticons – The Wombats_

Chapter 5

"So he's not doing anything" Hermione asked

Harry winced at her tone knowing she was preparing to be outraged

"Well its more that there's nothing to be done" Harry placated

"Dumbledore left him in charge of training you on occlumency, he must have some clue on what happened"

"That's just the thing, he doesn't think it had anything to do with that"

Hermione frowned

"We both know you haven't been as studious as you should be with occlumency, it's possible that Voldemort is trying to make you harm yourself while you dream. What would happen if you happened to bite off your tongue while you were in the troughs of one of your nightmares" She said pacing now, working herself up.

"It was probably a reaction to going to sleep while clearing my mind." Harry said not even convincing himself but continued his argument "Besides I had one last session with Snape and he tried to enter my mind…"

"And" Hermione asked both irritated and amused at his pause

"He failed…repeatedly" he said putting glee into his voice

Hermione turned to him frowning; not taken with his excitement

"Even still…" she said trailing off, worry still marring her face

"Doesn't seem like there's much we can do" Ron said thoughtfully

"I could just keep an eye on Harry. If anything happens I'll know, I haven't yet been able to sleep through one of his nightmares" Ron continued with a frown reflecting on lost sleep.

Hermione sighed "Ron's right, we'll just have to wait and see"

Harry nodded in agreement though his thoughts weren't really in their present conversation. It seemed he had pulled off his charade with being happy about the incident with Snape, while in truth it bothered him; more so than he imagined it bothered Snape. Snape had repeatedly tried to enter his mind to test his defences and no doubt get a first-hand account on what had them spooked. Only what happened wasn't what either of them expected. Snape hadn't been able to breach Harry's mind. Harry wasn't sure what irritated Snape more, that he couldn't breach Harry's mind or that Harry had somehow become better at occlumency without him. Harry didn't care to pick either; he was in fact worried by the entire situation.

What troubled him was the fact that there had been no dread, pain or effort in repelling Snape, he just simply did. He wasn't so arrogant as to believe he was just naturally that good. Harry turned away from his thoughts knowing his they were not doing him any good.

He brought his attention back on his friends but they weren't paying him mind, having reverted to worrying about the coming exams which were less than a week away. Hermione was giving Ron pointers and what he should be studying, and Ron, to Harry's amusement seemed to be listening when he wasn't staring in the general direction of Hermione's breasts.

Harry unconsciously brought out the marauders map and began scanning it. He didn't like the helplessness his thoughts afforded him and just as quick as he caught on to Parkinson's name on the map he decided upon distraction.

Xxx

It was a slow night and she was now actually thinking her time would have been better spent studying or getting roped into a bet with Daphne and Millicent; a testament to how bored she was. She walked the hallway in dampened light deciding her final destination would be the astronomy tower. Her skin prickled as she climbed the steps and she paused to look behind her but found nothing except empty stairs. She squinted at the empty air; stopping after a moment feeling absolutely ridiculous. She turned away continuing her track up the tower but still unable shake the feeling of being watched. She walked consciously; keeping her focus on the corner of her eyes for any shimmer of disillusionment. She suspected someone was following her but was uncertain if she wasn't being paranoid or hoping to be relieved of her boredom. She reached the top of the tower and began scanning the room for the expected odd couple working off the coming exam stress. Still she made sure to keep her eyes peeled for anything coming up the stairs just in case she wasn't being loony. She was disappointed to find the place deserted, and no one came up behind her.

Feeling put out she turned to leave and gave a squeak in surprise before falling on her butt. Someone was standing by the guardrail to her right looking out into the night. She wouldn't have missed him; it was as if he had just appeared out of thin air. Potter turned to look at her both amused and surprised.

"Merlin Potter, has this become some kind of perverse past time for you" Pansy said in a low tone as she calmed herself.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you" He said though clearly too amused to mean it

She glared at him, hating how seeing him improved her mood.

"No please don't help me up" She said sarcastically

He gave her a small smile and sarcastically said "I'm sure you would have let me help you"

She didn't answer but stood glowering at him

"You've been avoiding me" Harry said

That caught her off guard she didn't think it would be apparent with the state of things between them. It wasn't as if they spent that much time together to begin with.

"I don't know what you're talking about Potter" She said folding her arms and giving her most nonchalant posture.

"I saw you duck behind the muggle related studies section in the library earlier this week" he said with a grin.

She reddened a bit at that

"I don't know what you're expecting from me Potter, I'm Slytherin, your Gryffindor. You take divination; read the signs"

"I thought we had moved past that" Harry said amusement returning to his face "you know with the whole me giving you contraception ingredients and spell lessons"

She flushed a little at the reminder of the potion she had recently finished brewing.

"That was lapse in my better judgement, you'll do good to forget it as I have." She said with Snape's warning still on her mind

Harry sighed "I don't even get a goodbye Potter it's been fun"

She supressed the urge to snort in humour

"Fraid not, now I'm leaving. Don't let me catch you after curfew again or I'm turning you over to Umbridge" She said turning and making to leave.

"Hold on a moment" Harry said

She paused uncertain and watched him walk away from the rail and approach her. The closer he got the more apprehensive she became. He was wearing dark slacks and a white shirt rolled up to his elbows. His hair was messy as always but she found she didn't dislike the way it looked on him. She took all this in to be trapped by his emerald eyes as he got within touching distance of her. He was uncertain as he watched her and it annoyed her how she liked his unguarded uncertainty.

"Are you afraid of Malfoy finding you out" He whispered

She flinched caught off guard "Either way I don't think it's any of your business"

"I've heard you whisper sweet nothings to each other, what's a-"

Her hand was in motion before she could register the movement. She had moved to shove or slap Potter but he caught the hand and her as she almost threw herself off balance. She looked up to find herself caught in his stare. His eyes were shifty and she caught his glance at her lips. Her face began to heat up and her legs suddenly felt so weak. She froze sensing the prickling energy between them; unable to stop how it felt like they were gravitating towards each other. She knew what would happen next and it annoyed her how much she wanted for it happen. It did. Potter kissed her and she kissed him back. The moment was indescribable to her and for a moment she was lost in the texture and taste of his lips.

She came back to herself to shove away from him. She didn't shove enough to leave his grasp but broke off the kiss.

"'Git" she said her breathing fast and excited

"Says the girl who had her tongue down my throat" Harry said blushing

Pansy kept her gaze on Potter's chest trying to calm herself and failing; quite conscious of Potters arms on her and how she still hadn't removed herself from him. She brought her gaze up and found his unnaturally green eyes waiting for her. She kissed him. It was slower this time, both savouring the taste of the other. Pansy felt her entire body flush, prickling with heat; melting away all the tension and uncertainty of their contact. He held her closer and tighter against him. She could almost feel herself melding into him.

"Holy shit" Millicent said unconsciously loud as she caught sight of the pair

"Pay up..." Daphne said coming up behind her but lost her words as she saw what Millicent saw

Pansy more or less flung herself away from Harry and stumbled away. She looked to the two girls before turning to Harry. He looked bewildered but only spared the newcomers the briefest of looks before watching her with an unreadable expression. Pansy turned away and fled. She came upon her year mates and didn't bother saying anything, only taking their hands and pulling them after her.

xxx

Pansy tried to steel her nerves but she couldn't help the shaking that had taken hold of her. She glanced behind them to find the hallway empty, always half afraid she might see Potter. She had ignored Millicent and Daphne since they beat a steady retreat from the astronomy tower but as they drew closer to the dungeons she knew she would have to face them and their demands. She sighed and stopped. Millicent and Daphne paused their walking and whispered arguments turning to her.

"So what's it going to cost me" Pansy said grimly watching them

Millicent chuckled "You can't honestly think it's going to be that easy do you"

Daphne nodded sagely with a smirk "Details first then bribery"

Pansy gave a humourless laugh "You can't expect me to give you more to hold over me"

Daphne gave a snort "Ah yes the Slytherin complex"

"Don't be so melodramatic Pansy, we've less respectable people to scheme against" Millicent said kindly

Pansy paused in consideration but shook her head "Unless you're going to give me a vow I don't have anything to say on the matter, except that you name your price"

Daphne and Millicent gave a collective groan.

"Have it your way then" Daphne said signalling for Millicent that they should go

Millicent shrugged and turned to leave with Daphne

Dread was already pitching a tent in Pansy stomach

"Wait, you have to name your price"

Daphne turned with a smirk "We don't have to do anything. We could just keep holding this over your head until it suits us"

"Or hell why don't we let everyone know…well everyone except for Draco of course, we'll just let the rumours catch up with him" Millicent said flippantly.

Pansy opened and closed her mouth a few times trying to conjure words or come backs that would save her from the situation. She was already berating herself for being in this situation in the first place. Kissing Potter in the most predictable place Hogwarts couples were known to go, merlin she was a fool. She cursed herself twice over catching her insinuation that she should have kissed him elsewhere instead of wishing away the entire kiss scenario.

Daphne laughed "You look like a polyjuice potion wearing off"

Pansy ignored that and steadied her panic

"Listen" Pansy began ready to launch into forced negotiations

Millicent wave her off with a snort "Don't worry about it so much, we won't say anything"

"Believe it or don't; it's your hole to dig" Daphne said giving her a small smile

They watched each other a beat before the two girls turned and continued their track. Pansy was uncertain but followed the two at a subdued pace. She had known them since their first year but even still she had never been close enough to them to honestly refer to them as friends. Trust them not to use this against her? She would have to be mad, then again she wasn't worried about Potter saying or doing anything. That was being naïve though; she would have to talk to him too. Merlin she didn't know what she was doing anymore.

"I didn't think you had it in you" Millicent said conversationally

Pansy hadn't noticed but they had slowed down to walk in step with her in the middle.

Daphne nodded "Always figured you didn't have your head outside Malfoy's arse"

"I'll thank you to keep your opinions to yourself" Pansy growled

"It was a compliment, no need to get testy" Daphne said

They came to a stop outside their common room entrance and paused

"Your thing with Potter-"

"I don't have any "thing" with Potter" Pansy protested

She was ignored

"Your thing with Potter will remain between us, you can believe that or not but there's nothing you can do about it. You'll just have to trust us" Daphne said giving her a shark's grin

Pansy looked from one to the other before admitting temporary defeat and mutely nodding.

They entered the room

"How was it by the way" Millicent asked

Pansy looked puzzled

"Kissing Potter" Daphne whispred

Pansy blushed before she could control her reaction much to the grins of the other girls. She thought about it a moment and shrugged

"warm….and wet" she said keeping thoughts of the feelings she wouldn't explain to herself

They laughed and walked away

"Why were you up there anyway" Pansy asked sullenly

Daphne looked a little guilty at that "A wager"

"She wagered you were out snogging Draco" Millicent clarified "So pay up"

"Well technically I was right, she was out snogging"

Pansy groaned "By all means share my lapse in judgement with the entire house"

Millicent snorted and motioned to her wand "Cast a privacy spell ages ago. Your losing your touch. Potter's making you weak in more than one place"

Pansy didn't dare rise to that bait and ignored the last comment. She left them arguing on who had won the bet, though it sounded like it was Millicent's win this time. She felt the weight of the situation as she ascended to their sleeping quarters alone. She took a shower cooling off her body and mind of the night's events before settling into bed. Safe in the comfort of her covers she fell into groaning as thoughts of the kiss refused to leave her mind.

Xxx

The days passed in quick succession and Pansy found herself walking on egg shells; constantly waiting to be the centre of ridicule and ruin that had yet to come. She was being melodramatic most of the time but all she had known and aligned herself with all these years was at risk over a single moment she couldn't explain. There was some consolation in the OWLs coming up the following morning leaving tonight a subdued affair.

"You've been quiet of late" Draco said at her side

"I hadn't noticed, must be the stress of the OWLs. I can't wait until they pass"

Draco gave a slow nod in agreement. He may have been exuding confidence and arrogance when the other houses were around but he too was nervous about the coming examinations. He would have to produce results his unpleasable father could find acceptable. Pansy gave his arm a squeeze knowing where his mind dwelt. They shared a smile but Draco missed Pansy's faltering as they broke contact.

"I know we haven't had time to talk about…us but I was thinking that when the OWLs are over we could continue our talks on how much I appreciate you"

"Oh" Pansy said with nervous laughter "I had thought that was a passing fancy"

Draco nodded with an expression as close to being abashed as he could get

"I've been distracted, I'm sorry. I have thoughts on ways I could make it up to you"

Pansy gave him a smile "I expect to be spoiled"

"I plan to do more than that" he said amused

They shared a secret smile and continued their track to the great hall for dinner.

"Mind if I cut in" Daphne said cutting between Pansy and Draco

Millicent took up Pansy's right.

"We need to borrow her for a moment, you don't mind do you Draco" Millicent said batting her eyes at Draco

Draco did well to hide his disgust before turning to Pansy with a questioning look. She gave a nod with an apologetic smile. Draco shrugged and motioned for Goyle and the other one to follow his lead as he walked away from the three girls.

"Do I even want to know what this is about" Pansy asked as soon as there was no one within ear shot

"You're having dinner with us"

"or else" Daphne added in mock menace

They entered the great hall and took seats at their table away from Draco and most of their year with Daphne muttering a spell as soon as they were seated.

"So you're ready to name your price I take it" Pansy said as they settled and started dishing

"No price. Just a spell of curiosity"

"I thought I made it clear I wouldn't be giving you more to hold over me"

"But see here you are faced with two options; Indulge in idle gossip or have your secrets outed right here right now"

"Ha! You wouldn't dare" Pansy snorted. Slytherin norm dictated any conflicts be settled internally, not fed to the rest of the Hogwarts population

"Well the rules wouldn't apply in this case since you are sleeping with the enemy"

"I'm not sleeping with Potter" she growled

"Oh? Do tell"

Pansy stopped short of saying something on impulse and decided they were goading her to talking. It was amusing if not utterly irritating. She ate thinking silence would be her friend.

"Oh look who's here" Daphne pointed out

Pansy couldn't help looking but regretted it immediately. It was Potter and Co picking seats on the other side of the Hall. There were many obstructions to her view but she could still see him clearly without having to try. She had been nervous of seeing him alone again. So much so that she had made sure to surround herself with people whenever she went out.

She was quick to turn back to her dinner. She could hope all this would go away and soon be forgotten by all parties involved, but she knew that was being naïve…again. But she had hope; this wasn't foolishness only reserved for Gryffindors. Still she would have to make plans to clean up her mess. She would start by talking Potter into forgetting the incident.

"You're pretty good though I'll give you that. All these years of pureblood this pureblood that, you had even us fooled" Daphne said conversationally

Pansy winced at that. It was true she didn't care about the whole blood supremacy thing as long as she had wealth and respect, but in their circles it was quite necessary to belong. This one act was already throwing doubt into everything she was.

Millicent shook her head warily "The look on Draco's look when he finds out"

Pansy gave her a sharp look

"I mean if" She corrected with a nervous chuckle.

"I'm starting to wonder if there's any truth in the rumour about you and Potter's secret rendezvous, which-ah left you incapacitated""

"Don't be ridiculous" Pansy said stricken

"So no covert sex with Potter? got it" Daphne said winking at the tip of information.

Pansy rolled her eyes at that

"Still one has to wonder how long this has been going on for." Millicent said

"Or you could just mind your own business" Pansy said with a sigh

"So secret friends? And one thing led to another" Daphne picked at her again

Pansy kept her face blank

"You know if you don't tell us were just going to keep at this until you crack" Millicent said

"Are your lives so disinteresting that you have nothing else to do but pester me about mine" Pansy bit out

Irritation crept across Millicent's face "Watch yourself Parkinson"

"Or what? if your little lives are mundane don't take it out on me"

"Don't-"

Pansy gave a laugh cutting her off the coming threat

"So I should what? Be nice in hopes that you won't say anything to anyone? Best be done with it than be your dog"

Daphne watched on, pensive over the exchange, lingering over Millicent's icy stare

"Have you noticed the way Crabbe looks at you" Millicent said her tone cold as she returned to her food "You're always walking merrily ahead with Draco so I'm sure you've missed the longing looks that linger over your chest and bottom. I wonder what he would do with this information"

Pansy was taken aback by the sudden change in both subject and tone

"You wouldn't" she said after a pause

"It's a bit late to believe I'm nice isn't it?" Millicent said cocking her head as if confused "well I'm sure Crabbe will find good use for the information; either way you're screwed" Millicent finished with a smirk

Daphne gave a cough "Looks like Potter's done testing Granger"

The other two girls ignored her continuing to stare daggers at each other

"oh give it a rest, we all know no sane woman would leave another to the not so tender mercies of Crabbe"

The girls broke their staring match returning to their food.

"Now then a wager" Daphne continued with the situation diffused

"Continue" Millicent said to Pansy's groan

"What do you even wager, I've never seen any exchange of currency" Pansy asked snipping a drink

"Sexual favours of course" Daphne said seriously

Pansy choked on her drink and Daphne laughed

"So what's the wager?" Millicent asked again

"Now that Grangers not taking up Potter's attention, I wager it won't be long before he looks this way to find a certain Slytherin girl"

"I'll take your wager. I doubt Potter would risk sparking Draco's unhealthy attention in him, especially with our first O.W.L being tomorrow" Millicent said with a chuckle

"Any third scenario or side you'd like to pick?" Daphne asked Pansy

Pansy mutely shook her head uncertain how to behave around them. Millicent's threat had left her afraid and she didn't want to raise their ire with a misplaced comment. She couldn't be nice afraid it might be a reflection of weakness while being rude definitely was clearly out of the cards. It was better to go along with this playful side of things and hope no more threats were raised against her.

They ate and chatted more with Pansy doing her fair share of swatting away enquires of her non relationship with Potter. Pansy wouldn't say it out loud but she was amused by the wager. They were keeping up appearances with their talks but they were entirely focused on Potter. Pansy wasn't sure why even she was drawn into the wager but she took her own discreet glances at Harry who didn't seem to be studying like everyone else, just enjoying his dinner.

Pansy took an extra-long look. He seemed his usual sulky self and the thought of it made her smile. The smile fell just as quick as he looked up at her. She noticed the small smile on his lips as though he knew she had been watching him all along. Pansy looked away in time to hear the whispered 'yes' from Daphne.

Pansy felt her neck prickle and knew he was still watching her.

"He's not looking away" Millicent said suddenly interested in her own plate. She wouldn't risk having someone mistake Potter's look to being directed at her

Pansy grit her teeth in annoyance as both Millicent and Daphne began to snigger at her sides. She looked up again right at Potter. He met her stare with a passing look of triumph.

He then raised his hand and waved.

She could almost feel the colour draining from her face. Everything stopped and she knew it was over, her life in Slytherin was in tatters. The moment passed just as quick as it began. It was replaced by the figure of Luna Lovegood waving back at Potter much more enthusiastically than he had at her. Daphne and Millicent could barely contain their laughter once their own shock wore off.

 _ **xHPx**_

The first examination came and went with Harry finding he had little to no nervousness over it. He ran through the charms theory feeling, not necessarily confident but not unsure of himself. He found himself finished before he could catch on to his momentum as he went through the paper. He rechecked the answers but found he could find no fault in his writings; in fact they were perfect.

Trouble came when they waiting for the practical charms examination. Harry found himself having his concentration split between the fate that awaited him and Parkinson who stood two people ahead of him decidedly ignoring him. He knew he should have been concentrating and running through wand motions but found distraction in her.

"I tire of your gaze Potter, I'd prefer you keep your ogling to those in and under your station" Parkinson said turning to face him with a scowl.

She turned away without waiting for a retort leaving Harry momentarily surprised. The Patil twins murmured something or other about Slytherins, telling Harry not to let her distract him from the exam. They missed the smile that mirrored his amusement for he knew it was he who had distracted her which is why she had snapped at him.

He didn't watch her any longer, falling into a sense of calm as they were called to enter for their exam. Harry was surprised at how at ease he felt. He gave an appreciative nod in Ron's direction as he wished Harry good luck. He didn't think he'd need it. He ran through the practical with unconscious ease he willingly embraced, happy for once he wasn't so out of his element. He finished the charms examination knowing he did well above average. This confirmed when he rose professor Tofty's –one of the external examiners- eyebrows performing the levitation charm seamlessly without uttering a word.

Xxx

The days passed in similar fashion. They retired to revise and woke up to another examination which Harry found he was performing very well but never truly confident he had truly passed. Professor Tofty took interest in Harry and seemed well eager to test Harry on his next practical, hinting of bonus points which would be awarded for more surprises in Harry's performance. Harry felt he disappointed the man for other than the odd wordless spell and precise movements there were no surprises from the boy who lived. The only moment of note was when he cast a patronus, it sprang free from his wand fully corporal but was quick to fade to non-existence. He hadn't ended the spell intentionally which bothered him some. Professor Tofty was impressed non the less hinting that Harry had done well beyond expectation.

Hermione was constantly in a bad mood due to the exams and Harry found it hard to share any good feelings he had about the examinations. Instead he settled for commiserating with Ron on how they couldn't wait for this to be all over.

The weekend came and Harry kept himself wrapped up in revision. Potions would be the coming Monday and he was quite sure this was where his luck or feelings of ease would desert him. He found he didn't have any time to spare on the incident with Parkinson, nor was he able to practise his occlumency any further. The latter though may have been avoided out of fear of another episode.

Potions came and went with Harry feeling he had done well enough to put off Umbridge's vendetta of making sure he would never become an auror. These feelings of slight confidence left him at times making him doubt himself. For this reason, he held fast to what little confidence he had and continued to revise and face whatever came next. All in all, things were better than Harry thought they'd be.

 **Xxx**

The rhythm Harry began to feel with the OWLs didn't last. The first sign that things were about to take a turn came during the late night astronomy examination. It was a quiet night partially disturbed by the slow sporadic crank of a telescopes being shifted as students observed the night sky. The tranquillity was disturbed by commotion below. The commotion was traced down to Hagrid's cabin where Umbridge and six others stood looking for trouble. Turned out there was plenty of trouble to be found.

The situation ended in Hagrid fleeing the Hogwarts grounds, Professor McGonagall being cursed several times by Umbridge's fellows, and some of said Umbridge's fellows laying on the ground nursing broken bones curtesy of Hagrid. The situation caused quite a stir and not much of the examination could be salvaged.

Harry watched on feeling the anger he hadn't felt in weeks stir within him threatening to overwhelm him. He wanted to go down there; no he needed to go down there and show the cowards true power. Teach them a lesson they wouldn't live to learn. He caught himself ready to leap off the tower wand clenched.

"Potter! What the hell do you think you're doing" Pansy shouted through the pandemonium

Harry felt like he was waking from a dream. He looked to find the commotion had quieted to people watching him with looks that ranged from amusement to fear. The anger was still roiling in his chest begging for release but he held fast and looked away from the people watching him. He could only guess the expression reflected on his face but felt sure it was what inspired the fear.

"Mr Potter calm yourself. Merlin this is an examination and I advise all of you to return to it in these last few minutes" Professor Tofty said also shaken by the events below

That seemed to get people to calm down some and weakly resume their work, though it would be over in a few minutes. Harry found he had completed most of his chart and didn't care how well or bad he did this time. As soon as the exam was called to an end he bolted out of the tower descending the stairs without a look back.

He was shaky with adrenaline and worry. The anger was still there feeding on all the insecurities he tried to push away. Thoughts on now having lost Hagrid too, thoughts on McGonagall hitting the ground after the stunners took her. All the adults he could have maybe counted on to help him were gone and now he would be at the tender mercy and misery of Umbridge. The thought of it all had him on the brink; all the while the anger was there whispering thoughts of revenge. The worst of it was how it felt like he was finally being himself. It wasn't like the other times when he felt like the anger wasn't his own, this time it felt right. It felt right to not want to be losing every time he looked to be steadying to the situations around him.

He walked fast unsure where he was going at first but it soon became clear; The sanctuary. There was a clap of footing a-ways away from him and he could guess Ron and Hermione were coming after him. He reached the sinkhole and sank through before he could call for it to open.

He had his wand out as soon as he hit the floor and marched through the plant life with little care, knowing he wouldn't be okay until he let off some steam. He paid little mind to the main room and walked into the venting room. Here he immediately let out a gust of fire which rolled over the wall and ran along the ceiling. He paid the flames over him no mind immediately launching into another.

More bursts of fire leapt from his wand but found it did nothing for his temper; if anything it made things worse. Harry grit his teeth falling to his knees. Thoughts on Umbridge filled his head, yet even in his anger he could not think of a punishment bad enough for her. Still it did naught to stop his imagination.

"Potter" a voice called behind him

He turned momentarily shocked. He could have screamed at her for the worst timing but only just stop himself.

"G…Give me a moment, I'll be out in a minute… just wait for me outside" He stammered

"What's wrong with you" Parkinson asked worry in her tone

Agitation crept up again making Harry curse her, himself and all else in the castle. Harry was about to scream at her when his left eye vision blurred.

Pansy gave a squeak in fright

Harry swiped at his eye but that seemed to darken his vision to a dark shade of red. He was about to try again when he caught sight of the red pigment staining his hand.

"Your scare's bleeding" Pansy said bewildered

"Wha-" Harry muttered

He reached up and sure enough his hand came away wet with more blood than he fathomed the scar could bleed. Harry was momentarily in wonder why there was no pain. It seemed he had thought so too soon; his vision blurred further and whitened out as hot pain cascaded from his scar throughout his entire body. He wasn't conscious of it but found himself in a moment of Deja vu as he stared up at the ceiling as his body convulsed. He felt numb and faintly aware of his body being rocked by spasms.

He heard muffled words sounding panicked and distant. Blackness creeped into his vision and Harry knew he would soon be unconscious. He fought against the curtain that seemed steadily blanketing his senses. He was aware of his mouth moving but unhearing to the snarling and growling that came from it.

Parkinson came into view surrounded by haze; she was talking to him, saying something he didn't catch. He watched her lips move and went through thoughts on what she could be saying. Was she telling him to bleed? No. She was telling him to breath. Harry took a breath to have smoke fill his lungs and choke him.

He was rocked by spasms again, but this time from the coughs that rocked his body. His vision and senses cleared but he still coughed. He continued to cough trying to see through the haze of smoke that seemed to be all over his face. It was coming from a bowl held close to his face; he swiped it away. He was barely aware of it smacking against the far wall, his focus on the Parkinson's face becoming clearer through the thinning smoke.

He continued to cough but the interval between them grew with every passing moment Harry became aware that the anger that seemed to consume him only moments ago was now but a distant memory. He felt at peace and didn't bother to sit up from the floor, instead lay there and faded.

Xxx

Harry came to unsure when he had fallen asleep but found he was partially off the floor now. He felt his normal self again except for the fog in his mind. He took his time looking at and feeling his surroundings. He was still in the vent room, still on his back but his head propped up against someone's thighs. He looked up to find Parkinson looking down at him as she licked something in her hand. Their eyes met and the fog in his brain parted to the remembrance of how he had ended up here. Harry groaned and face palmed his face with both his hands.

"Glad to see you're up, though I was looking forward to slapping you awake in the next minute" Pansy said tucking away what she was licking before.

"What time is it" Harry asked his throat parched

"A little after 2am. How do you feel?" She asked

"I don't know" he said truthfully and sitting up "What happened?"

Pansy watched him sceptically "That's my question to you Potter"

Harry groaned racking his mind for what happened but he wasn't sure "Tell me what you saw?"

"I followed you here from the tower, and caught up to you in time to catch you having a fit. Oh and your scare bled all over your face" She said nonchalantly but Harry caught the edge in her voice.

He half nodded "There was smoke?"

"I burned some Hellebore, it has calming properties and I thought it would help whatever was happening to you…. you seemed agitated."

Harry was at a loss for words. He remembered how out of control he felt, like something was taking him in and relieving him of himself and his senses. He had to wonder what would have happened if he hadn't been calmed by Parkinson's concoction. He had been hoping the incident before had nothing to do with Voldemort but this one having his scar bleed left no doubt about it. He just couldn't figure what was happening or why.

"Potter" Pansy called him out of his thoughts

"Sorry, I'm still a little off" Harry said moving to stand

She sighed "I'd love to keep sitting around while you go in out of a daze but I'd really like to leave now" Pansy said fatigue colouring her tone

Harry nodded and felt his face for dried blood but found he was clean. He rightly assumed Parkinson had cleaned him up. Feeling more sure of himself he led the way and they silently left the vent room and proceeded to make for the exit.

Harry's head cleared as they walked but found himself all the more confused by the events. He remembered how angry he had felt looking down the astronomy tower and watching the scene unfold. The sensations which ran through him felt different from those had earlier in the school year. During those times his anger had once been so foreign to him, this time it felt like it came from within him. He had to wonder if it was still Voldemort projecting his feelings onto Harry or simply amplifying what Harry already felt.

He despised Umbridge but he didn't think he wanted her dead… or maybe he did, he didn't seem to know himself anymore. Harry resolved not to tell Ron or Hermione about this episode, he didn't need their own worry mixing with his own.

Harry turned away from his thoughts to focus on his companion.

"Thank you" he said softly

She eyed him from the corner of her eye before giving a small nod

They walked in silence a little further but paused before the exit.

"So are you going to tell me what happened back there?" Pansy asked

Harry ran a hand through his hair. After the whole ordeal he knew he owed her some kind of explanation

"It's hard to explain" He said in a low tone

She watched him a moment, a contemplative look on her face. She let her face fall with a wary shake and gave a nod. Harry watched her unsure what to take in from her expressions.

"Honestly I don't think you want to know" Harry continued tiredly

"And if I did, would you tell me then?" she asked

"I would" Harry said surprising himself

"Then you may be right, I don't want to know"

Harry gave an appreciative smile stepping closer to her. She took a step back to his own staring up at him with a guarded look. There was shiftiness in her eyes reminiscent of the time they kissed and Harry had to glance at the floor to hide a blush that threatened him. Truth was he enjoyed the kiss, but having it with Parkinson just confused things. Oil and water weren't supposed mix but at this very moment he could barely keep his eyes off her lips.

"Why did you follow me down from the astronomy tower" He asked distracting himself from his urges.

She hesitated before answering "I thought we should talk"

Harry gave her a nod with a small smile. He had known she would seek him out to talk about the kiss. Judging by her hasty retreat after; she like himself hadn't expected it. And if he knew her character she wanted to silence him about it.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Harry asked

She hesitated uncertainty in her eyes as she returned his stare

"The kiss. I thought I should make somethings clear" She said straightening her posture and settling on a stony expression

Harry watched her a little irritated by the front she was putting up. He decided he would spare them both the awkwardness of the talk about to come "Kiss? What kiss?"

Pansy gave him a look "Don't be obtuse Potter, you know what I'm talking about"

"No… I meant" he stopped and chuckled "it's a muggle saying, I was giving you the understanding that what happened is already forgotten"

Oh" she said taken aback at having her prepared speech being rendered moot. "Good"

"Yep great" He said stepping closer to her

He watched her take another step back, her stoic face cracking to the uncertainty below. He took another step towards her and watched her hands folded over her chest fall to her sides. She was fidgeting Harry noticed and found it cute. He glanced at her lips before catching her eyes watching his. She licked her lips apprehensively causing Harry's breath to catch at how enticing he found it.

"Potter…Don't" she whispered an uncertain warning.

Harry took more steps towards her and for every one step he took, she took two away from him. They came to a halt with Pansy against the wall and Harry close enough to smell her breath. Her arms came up in front of her, set in little fists as though she were about to fight him. This amused him and not for the last time he glanced at her lips. He was hesitant and slow letting his right hand come up to touch her fists. He let his hand rest there a moment before letting it drift down to her elbow and up to her shoulder. Harry watched his offending hand as though it had a mind of its own, letting it continue its journey to her neck. Her skin was soft under touch and she shuddered at his touch. Her hands fell away from her defence and instead she turned her eyes to watch him and he her. His hand drifted to her jaw, fingers brushing her cheek. Harry closed the distance between them to kiss her.

He was aware of how dry his lips were against hers and was momentarily quite embarrassed by it. He was surprised to feel Pansy's hands trail up to his jaw, hold him and deepen the kiss.

Harry pressed into her, having one knee between her legs and one of hers between his. He was not conscious of his actions anymore but by pure animal instinct knew what he needed and wanted to feel. His hands ran up and down her sides to her back, relishing the shudders it caused when a gap in clothing afforded him tender skin. Her hands too he felt were not idle. She ran her hands over his face caressing his jaw and teasing his ears. He groaned into her savouring the taste of her mouth.

He continued his exploration finding her bottom and pulling her against an enlarged part of himself. It was heaven for a few minutes but came to an end as Pansy gave a squeak and pushed him away.

The loss of contact startled Harry momentarily. He had his eyes closed and he almost lost his footing. It took a moment for the blood to return to his brain but even then he couldn't think clearly. He wanted to kiss her again, feel her tongue invade his mouth but he kept hold of himself. Pansy looked distressed. She had a deep blush and Harry could see her shake periodically.

"I need to go" She said stuttering a little

Harry watched her a little concerned by her tone

"Maybe we should talk" Harry said discarding his earlier sentiments.

"There's nothing to talk about Potter, I'm Slytherin; your Gryffindor. That's all there is to it"

"Is it? all there is to it" he asked

"Stop Potter" she whispered "This …I don't even know what this is" she said her voice edged with hysterics

"Calm down a moment okay, I know this is a bit complicated but"

"Oh come off it Potter, we've been enemies since first year. We don't even like each other"

Harry fell silent then, uncomfortable with the truth in her words. He didn't know her that well, practically despised her for the most part of the year and yet here they were now. He watched her watching him to see her look away and know she had read the truth in his face.

"See even you can't deny it" She said not meeting his eyes

Harry nodded "You're probably right, I can't begin to explain it. I'm not sure I even want to, but I do want this" he said closing the distance between them again.

He was unsure he meant any of the words he said, but what he was sure of was that he wanted to feel her against him again. He drew towards her again and this time she didn't step away. She didn't look like she believed what he said but his want was clearly reflected in her eyes. They started snogging again. This went on for a few minutes with light patting. Pansy drew away from him again panting and flushed like himself.

"We need to go, its late"

Harry gave a nod agreeing with her but drew back to kiss her

"Potter" she said pushing him away amused

"Right" he said trying to clear his head

He hissed and the entrance opened for them. They stepped in and stepped out into Hogwarts moments later. They stood awkwardly a moment, again unsure how to part. Harry was first to speak

"Tomorrow's our last OWL"

"Glad to be done with it" she said exasperated

"I have to start packing up books I'll be taking home over the summer tomorrow, maybe you could help" he said with a faint blush looking anywhere but her

"You want to me to meet with you tomorrow" she asked enjoying how uncomfortable he was

Harry took a breath that didn't hide his blush and met her amused eyes

"Yeah" he said with a pause "Things aren't so good with me of late, but it fades when I'm around you"

Pansy was taken aback by that and it was her turn to blush and turn away from his gaze

"Oh. Okay I guess, if I can't find anything better to do"

"Great" Harry said grinning at her "tomorrow then"

He looked ridiculous grinning at her but she couldn't help a small smile. "If I can't find anything better to do" she reiterated

"Here" She said with a composing cough

She dug out three pale items from her pockets and handed them out to him. Harry scrutinized them confused at what he was holding. It seemed for all intents and purposes hand rolled cigarettes.

"uhm thanks?" He said unsure

"It's hellebore. It will help calm you if you need it" she said with a nonchalant shrug.

"you smoke?" Harry asked surprised

She shook her head "My father needs something of the like. I've helped him in the past"

Harry gave a slow nod knowing there was more to this but unsure if he had the right to pry.

"Where'd you get the material" Harry asked unsure he cared but wanted to stay talking a little longer

"Hellebore is in the entrance; the paper is purified preface paper from one of the tombes" she said

"Very resourceful" Harry said with a glance at her lips before meeting her eyes.

She gave a barely noticeable nod "Don't inhale too much of it, it's dangerous"

Harry gave his thanks again and kissed her before she could protest. It was a small peck and Harry watched her stiffly walk away from him soon after. He kept watch until she disappeared. Now alone the spell that kept his other thoughts at bay seemed to brake and with those burdens he made his way back to Gryffindor.

xxx

It was nearly four in the morning when he made it back to Gryffindor commons. He was surprised to find some people still milling about, no doubt still talking about what happened to professor McGonagall and Hagrid. Harry caught sight of Ron and Hermione. He immediately went to join them. The expected questions came on where he got off to. This was easily evaded to anger management issues verified by his red and angry scar. They asked no further and set to telling him on what he had missed. It seemed most of the house had woken when the news of the events broke and people were outraged if not just excited by the whole affair. Part of the story included Harry himself being outraged but people seemed to be of the opinion he was in the right in this case.

They agreed there was not much to be done this night and turned in. Harry and Ron bid Hermione a good night and ascended warily to their beds thanking merlin and god their history exam wouldn't be until lunch the next day.

Harry took out the hellebore from Parkinson and relinquished it to his trunk before turning into bed. He closed his drapes before settling into bed. It didn't take long to hear Ron's snores filter through the air and Harry envied his ability to just nod off. Sleep didn't come easy for him this time, a nervous energy buzzed about his body. He lay in the darkness knowing what it was but never liking when these moments came. Still he couldn't ignore the swell in his groin area. He didn't fight it, summoning a nondescript cloth out of his trunk he set to his task. It didn't take long before he came and faded with thoughts Parkinson

T.B.C

This chapter had more to it but I cut it out for the next chapter. The events, I felt should not be in the same space. Anyway I'll post the next one I think tonight or tomorrow.

 _Beware: End of year events coming up_


	6. Chapter 6

_So the reason this is rated M is up ahead so…yep serious escalation._

 _The jump between moments may be disorienting but all this happens on the ministry battle day so hold on to that and assume what's happened if it's not clear. The events end more or less the same way as order of the Phoenix._

 _-xxx—_

 _..I'll fill the sky with screams and cries, bathe in fiery answer.._

 _Townes Van Zandt - Lungs_

Chapter 6

Harry woke with a magnificently splitting headache and burning eyes. Whatever god he thanked the night before clearly didn't care to induce him into a coma. He was up at his usual time and completely unrested. The exam would not be until the afternoon but sleep didn't seem to be his friend and the headache seemed to be here to stay. He instead got ready and went to breakfast. Ron still slept but Hermione was already up and having breakfast. He joined her and she immediately set off on history revisions. Harry was so dreary that he ignored her and ate. He looked to Slytherin but Parkinson wasn't there.

He finished his meal and went back to the common room. There he studied as best he could though beset from all sides by a splitting headache, sleep deprivation and boredom. Still he somehow persevered through it to skim most of the notes Hermione lent him.

The examination came and he got his first glimpse of Parkinson, she looked terrible. Her similar state of disarray made him smile, which he promptly dropped when she sneered at him. He found it easier to forget about her momentarily as they were ushered into the great hall. Harry took his seat with little care and waited for the shuffling around him to quiet. Once everyone was seated the exam began with a flip of a large hour glass.

He read questions and answered to the best of his ability but his splitting headache constantly became a throb he couldn't ignore. He closed his eyes with a wince and opened them to blurred vision. He took a long blink and rubbed his eyes but his vision was haze. The headache split him apart and Harry thought he could hear himself scream but all he heard was tinnitus then darkness.

Darkness gave way to a dimly lit corridor, and Harry knew right away where he was; the department of mysteries. He was dreaming again, and soon found this one to the worst nightmare he had yet.

 _ **xxx OotP xxx**_

Hermione tried to hold her nerve but with every word she felt like she was making things worse. She stood in an empty class room with Harry and Ron. They were presently discussing the probability of Sirius being held by Voldemort at the department of mysteries. 'Probability' she thought but it was pretty much fact to Harry, and she felt like she was failing to make him see reason.

"Harry," said Hermione in a rather frightened voice, "Er… how… how did Voldemort get into the Ministry of Magic without anybody realising he was there?"

"How do I know?" bellowed Harry. "The question is how we're going to get in there!"

"But… Harry, think about this" said Hermione, taking a step towards him, "it's five o'clock in the afternoon… the Ministry of Magic must be full of workers… how would Voldemort and Sirius have got in without being seen? Harry… they're probably the two most wanted wizards in the world… you think they could get into a building full of Aurors undetected?"

"I don't know, Voldemort used an Invisibility Cloak or something!" Harry shouted.

"Anyway, the Department of Mysteries has always been completely empty whenever I've been-"

"You've never been there, Harry," said Hermione quietly. "You've dreamed about the place, that's all."

"They're not normal dreams!" Harry shouted in her face, standing up and taking a step closer to her in turn. He wanted to shake her. "How d'you explain Ron's dad then, what was all that about, how come I knew what had happened to him?"

"He's got a point," said Ron quietly, looking at Hermione.

She shot Ron a look and licked her lips apprehensively. She had to be careful because if she wasn't able to bring doubt into the situation they would end up charging thoughtlessly into the ministry and get caught. She took a breath and started in again.

"But this is just — just so unlikely" she said desperately. "Harry, how on earth could Voldemort have got hold of Sirius when he's been in Grimmauld Place all the time?"

"Sirius might've cracked and just wanted some fresh air," said Ron, sounding worried. "He's been desperate to get out of that house for ages-"

"But why," Hermione persisted, "why on earth would Voldemort want to use Sirius to get the weapon, or whatever the thing is?"

"I don't know, there could be loads of reasons!" Harry yelled at her. "Maybe Sirius is just someone Voldemort doesn't care about seeing hurt-"

"You know what, I've just thought of something," said Ron in a hushed voice. "Sirius's brother was a Death Eater, wasn't he? Maybe he told Sirius the secret of how to get the weapon!"

"Yeah - and that's why Dumbledore's been so keen to keep Sirius locked up all the time!" said Harry.

"Look, I'm sorry," cried Hermione, "but neither of you is making sense, and we've got no proof for any of this, no proof Voldemort and Sirius are even there-"

"Hermione, Harrys seen them!" said Ron, rounding on her.

"OK," she said, looking frightened yet determined, 'I've just got to say this-"

"What?"

"You… this isn't a criticism, Harry! But you do… sort of… I mean - don't you think you've got a bit of a - a - saving-people thing!" she said.

He glared at her.

"And what's that supposed to mean, a 'saving-people thing'?"

"Well… you…" she looked more apprehensive than ever. "I mean… last year, for instance… in the lake… during the Tournament… you shouldn't have… I mean, you didn't need to save that little Delacour girl… you got a bit… carried away…"

A wave of hot, prickly anger swept through Harrys body; how could she remind him of that blunder now? He turned away from her hiding a wince from the headache fogging up his mind.

"I mean, it was really great of you and everything," said Hermione quickly, looking positively petrified at the look on Harrys face "everyone thought it was a wonderful thing to do-"

"That's funny," said Harry through gritted teeth, "because I definitely remember Ron saying I'd wasted time acting the hero … is that what you think this is? You reckon I want to act the hero again?"

"No, no, no!" said Hermione, looking aghast. "That's not what I mean at all!"

"Well, spit out what you've got to say, because we're wasting time here!" Harry shouted.

"I'm trying to say - Voldemort knows you, Harry! He took Ginny down into the Chamber of Secrets to lure you there, it's the kind of thing he does, he knows you're the - the sort of person who'd go to Sirius's aid! What if he's just trying to get you into the Department of Myst—?"

"Hermione, it doesn't matter if he's done it to get me there or not - they've taken McGonagall to St Mungo's, there isn't anyone from the Order left at Hogwarts who we can tell, and if we don't go, Sirius is dead!"

"But Harry - what if your dream was - was just that, a dream?"

Harry let out a roar of frustration. Hermione actually stepped back from him, looking alarmed. The look of terror on her face broke through his frustration and he looked away from her ashamed of losing his temper. He walked away from her to let out a breath.

"Maybe you're right" Harry spoke turning back to them "I ah…. I don't know anymore"

Hermione watched his eyes swimming with uncertainty and was relieved to see more emotions other than anger on him. He approached her and this time she wasn't afraid of what he might do in anger. He stood close and took a breath before speaking.

"You may be right, it could just be a dream" He said with a humourless laugh "and clearly I'm not myself of late."

She nodded with him touching his arm "We just need to think things through is all"

"I'll let you decide" Harry said dejectedly already knowing she would suggest they wait and see.

He walked away from her and sat on a work station away from them cradling his head in his arms seeming to nurse a headache

Hermione took a relieved breath feeling the nervous adrenaline starting to drain.

"Hermione" Ron called her attention. He looked nervous and worry coloured his tone. He took her aside to have a quiet word with her

"Listen you need to think about this carefully" He said his eye occasionally darting to Harry who still sat away from them cradling his head nursing a headache.

"I know and it just doesn't make any sense Ron"

"But if there's a chance you're wrong-

"But-"

"Sirius is all Harry has left. If you are wrong…if we wait too long … and ah something were to happen to him, Harry would be devastated. I'm not saying you're wrong but you can't take the chance…not you"

He left it at that letting her put the pieces together for herself. If she was wrong and Voldemort killed Sirius, then it would be irrevocable damage. Harry wasn't the type to blame anyone but himself for any outcome but it would be a wonder if their friendship didn't suffer greatly for it. Ron was right, they had to be sure, and fast. If they delayed too long and they were late; the result may still be the same. They had to make sure Sirius was in danger, and the best way would be checking if he wasn't at headquarters

"Harry" She called his attention "Are feeling okay" she asked seeing his pained expression

He waved her off "What is it"

She hesitated uncertain and said "We need to be sure Sirius isn't at headquarters, if he is we'll know for sure it was a dream"

Harry looked frustrated a moment but mutely agreed "So how do we do that"

"We'll have to use Umbridge's floo"

"We're going to need help" Ron pointed out

Xxx

Help came in the form of Ginny and Luna Lovegood who watched and ran interference on the hallway leading to Umbridge's office. The rest of the plan was Ron providing distraction to Umbridge to get her out of the office.

The plan worked as well as could be expected but with such poor planning it wasn't surprising that it fell apart. The main objective was achieved though, which only served to confirm that Sirius wasn't home before an interruption came. They were caught by Umbridge who had figured out their plan. This all led to Hermione telling an elaborate plot to lore Umbridge out into the forbidden forest. Umbridge took Hermione and Harry with her to the forest but whatever she expected went to hell with the arrival of the centaurs. The situation worsened when Umbridge attacked the centaurs and they retaliated before carrying her off into the night. Other centaurs stayed behind debating what to do with Harry and Hermione but that also went awry with the arrival of Hagrid's half-brother. The centaurs attacked the giant pelting its face with a horde of arrows.

Hermione watched on as Grawp yelled and stamped his enormous feet and the centaurs scattered out of the way. She was shaken from her inertia as pebble-sized droplets of Grawp's blood showered Harry and he pulled her to her feet. The pair of them ran as fast as they could for the shelter of the trees. Once there they looked back; Grawp was snatching blindly at the centaurs as blood ran down his face; they were retreating in disorder, galloping away through the trees on the other side of the clearing. Harry and Hermione watched Grawp give another roar of fury and plunge after them, smashing more trees aside as he went.

"Oh no," said Hermione, quaking so badly that her knees gave way. "Oh, that was horrible. And he might kill them all."

A laugh echoed through the new found silence

"One could hope" Harry said amused

Hermione could only gape at Harry who watched her in turn, his smile still in place. She could tell something was off but she wasn't sure what.

"We should head back the castle" Hermione said uncertainly standing

She watched Harry give a tilt of his head still watching her as if waiting.

"Well I must admit this has been an amusing evening" Harry said taking a breath and looking to the night sky.

"Are you feeling okay Harry?" Hermione asked

"Oh, I dare say I haven't felt this good in ages"

"Er good I guess. We should get going"

He turned to watch her again, his eyes calculating and she got the feeling he was waiting for something. She tensed and her skin prickled at the apprehension that began to grip her. She wanted to move forward and start off towards the castle but she didn't; She stood transfixed at Harry's stare, his posture and nonchalance.

"Harry?" she called uncertainly

There he smiled knowing that she could sense it even if she couldn't see it.

"Oh but I think we both know I am not Harry Potter" He said grinning

Hermione took an involuntary step back "Harry that's not funny"

"But it is isn't it?" He said tilting his head in amused puzzlement "For if it wasn't for you my dear I wouldn't be here right now"

"Wh- who are you" she asked shaking and deeply afraid

Now he laughed "But you know girl. I can see it in your mind; but of course proper introductions are in order. Allow me to introduce myself; I am the one and true lord Voldemort."

"That's im- impossible" she stuttered

"Quite the opposite, the wonders of magic are a marvel."

He gave a wave of his hand and Hermione was paralyzed. Voldemort crept closer and circled her with a smirk.

"I have you thank for this you know; well ofcourse not just you, but a large portion goes to you. You see the one thing Snape or Dumbledore neglected to tell Potter was that the true practise of occlumency leaves one most vulnerable to intrusion once they can begin to build up self-made mind defences. Severus knew; he tried to coax Potter's skill through instinctual mind defence by constant attacks but well…" he trailed off and laughed "…But you badgered Potter didn't you, girl. You made him see reason in his practise. It didn't take much after to point him towards my collection. Of course all the best material is missing the most vital of information; in case my enemies were to get ahold of them" he said smirking

"After that it was only a matter of time before I took hold of him. All the pieces were there; the fool Umbridge's constant harassment, teenage lust, the lack of Dumbledore, and the OWLs. Potter was so stretched thin he had no presence or will of mind. Little by little I took control and he didn't even feel he wasn't being himself. Not when he performed seamless feats of magic or when he somehow he guessed a details on why the warlocks of Liechtenstein refused to join the formation of the International Confederation of Wizards. Yes; I helped him exceed in his owls but only a fool trusts the hidden hand that gives. Potter so weighed down, was more than usual a mere fool"

Hermione listened with growing horror and complete hopelessness. She didn't have a wand and there was no one around who could have helped her. Suddenly the force holding her fell and she was once again on her knees. She was shaking violently in both fear and adrenaline in preparation for some kind of escape.

"So tell me girl do you see the genius"

"You won't win Harry will fight you. Fight him Harry, I know you're-"

She was cut short by brutal kick in the head. It sent her sprawling to the ground fighting spots in her vision. Harry came into view watching her with distaste.

"I apologize for resorting to such barbaric methods but without a wand… well one must begin using his imagination"

Hermione tried and failed to gain her bearings but defiantly she spoke "Dumbledore will-"

She was interrupted again by a foot coming down on her head. He wasn't smirking now looking vaguely annoyed. He fell upon her straddling her, then the blows came. Hermione wasn't aware of her cries and struggles; only the pain. Tears rolled down her face mixing with blood from her damaged nose and multiple cuts on her face.

The assault stopped but her vision was almost non-existent by now. He still sat atop her and she could hear raspy breathing but she wasn't sure if it was his or hers. She became aware of pressure against her ribcage as he shifted against her.

Voldemort was aware of the erection the young body had produced and was momentarily puzzled. The last time he had felt such a sensation was many years before his first downfall; the prices were paid for the power he possessed in his original form. He grinned down at the semi-conscious mudblood beneath him and she shivered as though she could sense the coming malevolence. This only served to make him harder.

"I brake you now girl, in the methods of your ilk" he said

She didn't catch on to what he meant until he was hiking up her skirt. Her struggles were pitiful and he easily overpowered her to snatch at her panties. He ripped them off her and she cried out in pain as the cotton burned her skin. She threw her hands at his face grasping and scratching but he only laughed swatting her hands away. He held her at bay with one hand and undid his trousers with the other.

Voldemort massaged her most intimate area to grin at her cries; he hadn't seen such despair since he murdered moaning Myrtle. He adjusted himself to enter her taking in every detail of her face when she knew it was about to happen. The begging came, she begged him to stop, she cried for Potter, and finally settled to repeating the same word;

"Please" she whimpered again and again and again

Voldemort entered her and laughed.

Cries of both pleasure and pain echoed throughout the forest

She tried in vain to be absent but she couldn't run from the feel of his rough touches, the sniggering, the groaning, and his gratification at every thrust that tore her insides apart. She wasn't aware how much time went by but it came to end with warmth inside of her and decreasing pressure. She felt his hands on her again, and she was certain the nightmare was to continue again but she was shoved and discarded away from him. She felt rough ground claw at her exposed leg and thighs.

"You know girl this could all be avoided had you been brave" Here he laughed "-I planned to make pretence of letting the whole matter with Black go, and leave with none of you the wiser; but you didn't have the courage to make the right choice. So much for Gryffindor."

Voldemort chuckled darkly looking down at her, his amusement was brought to halt with a wince and his hand instinctively touching the scar.

"Seems I should be elsewhere" He said through gritted teeth

He spared her a final look; she was helpless and thoroughly avoiding reality at the moment. He decided it would be more satisfying to leave her to her miseries. He walked away without casting another look back. He planned to move out of the Hogwarts wards before apparating away but paused as footsteps approached.

Ron came into sight, closely followed by Ginny, Neville and Luna. All of them looked a little the worse for wear - there were several long scratches running the length of Ginny's cheek; a large purple lump was swelling above Neville's right eye; Ron's lip was bleeding worse than ever - but all were looking rather pleased with themselves.

"Where's Hermione" Ron asked as he handed Harry his wand while peering behind him

Harry took it gratefully "It's a long story, but I'm sure the mudblood will tell you all about it"

There was silence; all of them watched Harry as though he had grown a second head. Ginny was first to react and first to fall as four stunners immobilised the entire group. Voldemort laughed and continued on his way. So this was what it was to be Harry Potter; things just worked out. He didn't get ahead of himself though there was still work to be done.

Xxx

Harry _*the real one*_ found himself crouched in dimly lit darkness; he didn't remember what he had just been doing and his mind felt clouded as if he had just woken. He looked around himself and immediately knew where he was. It seemed he had woken in the place he frequented in his dreams; for all he knew he was still dreaming. The place was as high as a church and full of nothing but towering shelves covered in small, dusty, glass orbs. They glimmered dully in the light issuing from candle-brackets set at intervals along the shelves; like those in the circular room in which he knew and assumed he had come. Their flames were burning blue increasing the effect of the cold room.

Harry edged forward and peered down one of the shadowy aisles between two rows of shelves. He could not hear anything or see the slightest sign of movement. A twinge in his scar and he remembered the urgency of the situation; Sirius was in trouble and he had to hurry and save him.

He moved without conscious navigation but somehow knowing he was going the right way. He kept his eyes peeled for Sirius or any death eaters. Thoughts on his friends and caution were forgotten, only Sirius and saving him on his mind.

He reached the end of a row and emerged into more dim candlelight. There was nobody there. All was echoing, dusty silence. He came to a stop suddenly knowing this was the place; but there was no Sirius. Dread began to set in and Harry shook with fear he didn't understand. He hastily glanced around, there had to be a clue or something to lead him to Sirius. Harry paused something catching his eye; one of the orbs that surrounded him drew his attention. He came closer inspecting it. He stepped forward and had to crane his neck to read the yellowish label affixed to the shelf right beneath the dusty glass ball. In spidery writing was written a date of some sixteen years previously, and below that:

S.P.T. to A.P.W.B.D.

Dark Lord and Harry Potter

Harry stared at it. He closed his fingers around the dusty orbs surface. He had expected it to feel cold, but it did not. On the contrary, it felt as though it had been lying in the sun for hours, as though the glow of light within was warming it. Harry lifted the glass ball down from its shelf and stared at it unsure how to proceed.

Sinister laughter came from behind him and Harry whipped around to see a figure emerge from the darkness. As the figure's features became clear, Harry took a step back almost stumbling over himself. He caught himself in time but the Orb fell from his grasp; he expected a crash but the orb curved away and flew into the other Harrys waiting hands. He wore a dark cloak and seemed to glide into visibility.

Harry didn't understand but knew something was very wrong. He dug into his pockets for his wand; he was shocked to find he didn't have his wand. He cursed himself how could he have not noticed the absence of his wand.

"Because that's how I made you to be Potter" his mirror said watching him with a grin made more sinister by the semi darkness of the room.

"Who-… who are you" Harry asked shakily

"I'm Harry Potter" He said with amusement

Harry shook his head disbelievingly "No, I'm-

"Nothing" the other Harry finished before Harry could say more "your luck has run out boy, now cease to exist"

Harry made to run at his mirror-self, hopefully take his wand and find out who he really was under the poly juice potion. He was stopped short; having his own wand levelled at him.

"Finite" the other Harry said and Harry ceased to exist. Voldemort grinned; Orb in hand he left for the death chamber.

He couldn't keep the smile from his face as he strolled into the room to see the veil. He looked down the raised dais to see his assembled death eaters.

He apparated onto the platform and grinned as they all jumped into fearful defence. He waited taking his eyes from one to the other, watching their posture trying to be nonchalant but clearly afraid. He had told them he might come to control Potter by the end of this night but clearly they hadn't believed it possible. They didn't know of his and Potter's connection so they probably thought this was some feat in magic; one he could turn on them at any moment. He didn't see the necessity of dissuading them of that assumption.

"So my friends, it seems our objective for the night is complete" he said producing the orb in his head

Bellatrix laughed her shrill laugh giving praises at his greatness

"is that truly you my lord" Lucius said in amazement

"Do you doubt my power" he said amused but it was as if he had run a whip through Lucius's spine

"Ofcourse not my lord"

Voldemort hummed and threw the orb at him. he caught it with a nervous jitter but was paid no mind.

"Now we wait" Voldemort said with a flick of his wand producing a throne

He sat himself down his gaze trained at the entrances on the upper floors where he was sure company would be present any moment.

"Wai wait my lord? Shouldn't we be away before any ministry officials return?" Lucius asked nervously

He grinned "There's only Potter here, I see no reason to rush"

To this the others chuckled

"Prepare yourselves for battle, Dumbledore and his servants shall be here any moment"

"What if they bring Aurors with them, we may be overwhelmed by numbers"

"Do you doubt me?"

"No of course-"

Voldemort smirked waving him away "There's no reason to worry; they will come alone. They will know by now not all is well with Potter. They won't risk the name of their saviour to be besmirched in truth"

They didn't have to wait long for the appearance of the order when high above them two doors burst open and five people sprinted into the room: Sirius, Lupin, Moody, Tonks and Kingsley. They were cautious coming closer expecting an attack of some sort. Voldemort remained seated and appraised the group.

Sirius was at the head of the group as they approached. He looked to run over to Harry but was quickly stopped by Remus. The group spread out in preparation for a fight but clearly not going to start one

"Harry, get away from them" Sirius shouted

"Don't play fool Black, I know your little group must know by now that not everything is as it should be"

"Who are you and what have you done with Harry" Lupin called warily keeping a hand on Black

"I owe you no explanations half human" he said curtly "I must say I'm disappointed not to see your master among you but well I'll take what I can get" Voldemort said standing

His death eaters flanked around him wands out around him ready in preparation for the fight both parties knew was about to break out.

Moody let out a snarl and just as quick a red spell pulsed from his staff and streaked towards Voldemort. None of the death eaters moved and Voldemort made no move to counter. The spell met with stone that ripped from the floor in an explosion.

Voldemort and the death eaters laughed

"Don't be a fool Alastor that's exactly what he wants. It's not him you'll hurt but Harry" Remus said his wand falling back into a casters stance

"If there's a chance he dies with Potter's body then it's a chance we need to take"

"No, there's always another way. Harrys in there I know it" Sirius said watching the image of his godson with hope.

"The delusions of fools never cease to amaze me" Voldemort said with a sneer "Kill them all"

His followers needed no telling twice; spells hurled from all around him and it came to no surprise that none were aimed at him. Voldemort settled back into his seat and watched the battle occasionally sending a spell to keep the advantage in their superior numbers.

He had just sent a spell that would have severed Tonks's head from her body -had she not dived away- when a spell raced towards Voldemort. He didn't bother to use his wand as a simple shield materialized to block the stunner.

Voldemort turned to see Sirius race towards him. This was a surprise; he stood and vanished the throne he sat on. He could have a little entertainment with Black before he killed him. Black sent more harmless spell easily evaded and batted away. They were of no real concern, clearly meant to disable than maime. Voldemort apparated away soundlessly to appear behind Black.

"Crucio"

Black was on his back writhing before he could comprehend what had happened. Voldemort paralyzed him shortly after and approached at a leisurely pace. He stood above Black watching him with a grin.

"Now then, what shall I do with you" He said his voice cold and sinister as he crouched to meet blacks unblinking stare

xxx

Harry woke with fading panic and fear. He cast his eyes to his surroundings and was immediately calmed to find he was in Gryffindor common room. He looked down in his lap to find a history text which must have fallen from his hands as he dozed off. He remembered now he had fallen asleep studying for the history exam coming up tomorrow. He sighed falling back into his seat and releasing the tension in his body. He was in one of the sofas by the fire and was grateful for the heat for he was cold. He looked about the common room but found he was alone. He sighed and picked up the book once more to study some more. The feeling that he was forgetting something niggled his mind but he could place what.

The sound of a crackle drew Harrys attention. He looked around unsure where it came from.

"Is anyone there" he asked the silent room

He stood from his couch and warily glanced around the room. He heard it again, it came from the hearth. He guessed it was the fire settling itself but still he stood watching it. He approached it unsure why it drew him so much.

He looked into the fire but found nothing but dying ambers; still he stood watching them. It was faint at first but slowly Harry was sure he heard a voice coming from the ambers. He couldn't make it out what was being said but he was sure he knew the voice. It took a moment but he finally and in wonder of how he could forget he knew who it was.

"Sirius?" Harry whispered

An explosion of green flame poured from the hearth and before Harry could begin to understand what was happening he was consumed by a world of pain. In the next moment he was gone from the common room to be locked in the coils of a creature with red eyes. He was so tightly bound that he did not know where his body ended and the creature's began: they were fused together, and there was no escape. Everything was all wrong, when the creature spoke, it used Harry's mouth, so that in his agony he felt his jaw move. Through his eyes he watched events playout completely lost to the situation he saw.

Sirius lay writhing on the floor as Harry crouched down and continuously tortured him. Harry watched this in agony but still he raged against the coils of the snake. The angrier he got the tighter the coils crushed him and he fused with the snake.

"I grow tired of this Black" Harry heard himself say

"Get your arse out of my godson snake-" Sirius said to but cut off by another crucio

Harry watched on with growing helplessness; if he didn't do something Sirius would die. It was as if he was reliving a situation he always knew would come to pass; first his parents when he was a mere babe, and now he would watch his godfather die just when he felt he had someone like family in his life. Harry didn't care for the tears rolling down his face, his thoughts centred on saving Sirius.

"Ego-duplicatum" he screamed pouring everything he was into it.

The coils around his body loosened and as though he had just dropped into his body Harry blinked and blurry image gave way to Sirius wincing below him. Harry sniffed and wiped away the tears in his eyes. He stood shakily disoriented, all around him spells whizzed and hurled. He looked around him and found a mirror image of himself rising off the floor. Harry gripped his wand tighter in his hand. He remembered now his last memory of being spelled away.

The other Harry stood slowly and their eyes met only briefly before words left both their mouths

"Bell-" the mirror Harry was shouting but was silenced into nonexistence by Harry's finite spell.

Harry hurriedly bent over to help Sirius up but was just as well shoved away as a spell narrowly missed him. Sirius stood in a half crouch sending spells across the room at Bellatrix. Harry stood in time to see her send a spell at Sirius; he was quick with a shield which absorbed the spell

"Nice one Harry" Sirius said grinning wolfishly at him as he stood

Harry returned his godfathers smile and in that moment as though frozen in time; everything was perfect. The moment passed though with Sirius pulling Harry down as a pair of stunners streaked over them. It was still a battle and they watched as Bellatrix gave a victorious shrill as a dispatched Tonks fell. Bellatrix ran back into the fray.

"Harry you need to leave-" he said to Harry who looked to protest "no arguments, be away we'll be right behind you. This is not a fight we want"

Harry gave a nod and watched Sirius leave his side and run to meet his cousin in battle. Harry didn't stay to watch, he raced away meaning to take one of the illuminated doors out of this room. He hadn't got far when an explosion took chunks off the floor next to him; sending him flying off to the ground. Harry got his bearings to see a death eater gliding towards him.

"Impedimenta!" Harry cast

The death eater was blasted off his feet, with his mask sent flying away. The newly unmasked Lucius Malfoy hit the ground with a groan and wheeze with his breath knocked out of him. He failed to notice the orb fall from his robes and roll towards Harry.

Watching the orb roll towards him Harry was entranced, remembering how he gave it to Malfoy. He winced at a pain in his scar but ignored it to summon the orb, which he was certain was the reason for this whole mess. Harry raised his wand in defence ready for a fight as Malfoy stood; he was mystified to see Malfoy hesitate staring behind Harry.

"Give me the prophecy Potter" He snareled looking panicked

"Not a chan-"

"Accio Potter" Malfoy said cutting Harry off

Harry was dragged away by unseen forces and met Malfoy who with quick movement had a hand around his neck and pawing at the prophecy. Harry instictivly knew he couldn't let him have it. He threw it away before sending a silent summon at the ball. Malfoy released Harry making move to catch it but Harry pulled him off balance as he fell. The orb shattered against Malfoy's face sending him into an unconscious heap on the floor. Forms of mist from the shattered orb emerged; they spoke but it was all lost to the noise of battle.

Harry sat up watching them curiously but was distracted to see Dumbledore streak past him to join the battle. Dumbledore sped down the steps past Harry, who had no more thoughts of leaving. Dumbledore was already at the foot of the steps when the Death Eaters nearest realised he was there and yelled to the others. One of the Death Eaters ran for it, scrabbling up the stone steps opposite. Dumbledore's spell pulled him back as easily and effortlessly as though he had hooked him with an invisible line. The mere presence of Dumbledore seemed to end most of the fighting as death eaters tried to run but only for it to be in vain.

The only one pair was still battling, apparently unaware of the new arrival was Sirius and Bellatrix. Harry saw Sirius duck Bellatrix's jet of red light: he was laughing at her.

'Come on, you can do better than that!' he yelled, his voice echoing around the cavernous room.

The second jet of light hit him squarely on the chest.

The laughter had not quite died from his face, but his eyes widened in shock.

Harry stood; and was already running though he was unaware of doing so. He was jumping down the steps again, pulling out his wand, as Dumbledore, too, turned towards the dais.

It seemed to take Sirius an age to fall: his body curved in a graceful arc as he sank backwards through the ragged veil hanging from the arch.

Harry saw the look of mingled fear and surprise on his godfather's wasted, once-handsome face as he fell through the ancient doorway and disappeared behind the veil, which fluttered for a moment as though in a high wind, then fell back into place.

Harry heard Bellatrix Lestrange's triumphant scream, but knew it meant nothing - Sirius had only just fallen through the archway, he would reappear from the other side any second…

But Sirius did not reappear.

"SIRIUS!" Harry yelled. "SIRIUS!"

Xxx

Harry ignored the sting of tears that would not cease as he ran after Bellatrix. The warnings behind him were ignored all he saw was her killing Sirius. He ignored and cast away brains and fluid hurled at him, flying after her to finally catch her as he entered the Atrium. She looked back as he sprinted towards her and aimed another spell at him. He dodged behind the Fountain of Magical Brethren: the spell zoomed past him and hit the wroughtgold gates at the other end of the Atrium so that they rang like bells. There were no more footsteps. She had stopped running. He crouched behind the statues, listening.

"Come out, come out, little Harry!" she called in her mock baby voice, which echoed off the polished wooden floors. "What did you come after me for, then? I thought you were here to avenge my dear cousin!"

"I am!" shouted Harry, and a score of ghostly Harrys seemed to chorus I am! I am! I am! all around the room

"Aaaaaah … did you love him, little baby Potter?"

Hatred rose in Harry such as he had never known before; he flung himself out from behind the fountain and bellowed, "Crucio!"

Bellatrix screamed: the spell had knocked her off her feet.

"Ego-duplicatam" Harry bellowed anger fuelling his words

The crucio hadn't done her much harm but as she stood she was met with a fist sending her back to the floor. Three projections of Harry closed in around her and kicked her viciously. Harry stalked forward satisfied by the carnage he wrought upon her; drops of blood were dripping all over the floor. A fire whip bloomed among the projections sending them into none existence. Harry stepped away as she slashed her wand violently at him. the feeling of a blunt knife grazing him sent Harry backpedalling and falling to the floor. He turned to find Bellatrix back on her feet stalking towards him; the blood marring her swollen face gave Harry short lived relish. Soon Harry was caught in spasms with Bellatrix grinning down at him, repeatedly putting him under the crucio.

"So little Potter has teeth" she cooed down at him "I saw you take the Prophecy from Malfoy where is it?"

She let the spell of for him to speak

"Gone" he said with a laugh "You failed, it broke all over Malfoy's face"

"You lie" She screeched putting him under again

"Liar!" she shrieked again letting up on the unforgivable to summon the prophecy from him now.

"YOU'VE GOT IT, POTTER, AND YOU WILL GIVE IT TO ME! Accio prophecy! ACCIO PROPHECY!"

Harry laughed again because he knew it would incense her, even though the pain building in his head was so bad he thought his skull might burst.

"Nothing here!" he shouted. "Nothing to summon! It smashed and nobody heard what it said, tell your boss that!"

"No!" she screamed. "It isn't true, you're lying! MASTER, I TRIED, I TRIED - DO NOT PUNISH ME"

"Don't waste your breath!" yelled Harry, his eyes screwed up against the pain in his scar, now more terrible than ever. "He can't hear you from here!"

"Can't I, Potter?" said a high, cold voice.

Tall, thin and black-hooded, his terrible snakelike face white and gaunt, his scarlet, slit-pupiled eyes staring… Lord Voldemort had appeared in the middle of the hall, his wand pointing at Harry who lay frozen, quite unable to move.

"So, you smashed my prophecy?" said Voldemort softly, staring at Harry with those pitiless red eyes. "No, Bella, he is not lying… I see the truth looking at me from within his worthless mind… months of preparation, months of effort… and my Death Eaters have let Harry Potter thwart me again …" he said silently yet Harry could feel his anger radiate from his scar.

"Master, I am sorry I knew not, I was fighting the Animagus Black!" sobbed Bellatrix, flinging herself down at Voldemort's feet as he paced slowly nearer. "Master, you should know-"

"Be quiet, Bella" said Voldemort dangerously. "I shall deal with you in a moment. Do you think I have entered the Ministry of Magic to hear your snivelling apologies?"

"But Master - he is here - he is below"

Voldemort paid no attention.

"I have nothing more to say to you, Potter" he said quietly. "You have irked me too often, for too long. AVADA KEDAVRA!"

"Ego duplicatam" Harry said in the same instant focusing all his fading consciousness into it.

The spells met but no connection formed; instead an explosion of red and green star dust blanketed the space between them. Harry took this time crawl away but pause seeing a figure materialize in the fading stardust.

Harry wouldn't; couldn't believe it but facing Voldemort was James Potter.

The projection of James clicked his fingers and Bellatrix's wand flew from her grasp into his waiting hands. He turned briefly looking back at Harry and gave him a wink.

"What -?" cried Voldemort, staring at the figure; for a moment there was pure curiosity but just as fast vanished for pure hared.

Harry was further boggled as a golden statue of a wizard that once stood on the fountain had sprung alive, leaping from its plinth to land with a crash on the floor between Harry and Voldemort. Other statues from the fountain came alive and took off across the room blocking the fireplaces. A statue of a witch ran at Bellatrix, who tried to run but was forced to the floor and pinned there.

"It was foolish to come here tonight, Tom," said Dumbledore calmly coming to stand at James's side "The Aurors are on their way"

"By which time I shall be gone, and you and the boy will be dead!" spat Voldemort.

He sent a killing curse at Dumbledore but missed as he vanished to appear behind Voldemort; the spell instead hitting the fountain sending shards of stone into the air. James gave an appreciative whistle side stepping to see the destruction.

"I'll need to borrow your strength Harry" James said twirling Bellatrix's wand

Harry felt the pull on his magic; and immediately fed it. The stones from Voldemort's destruction rose coming together to form of a vaguely humanoid figure. James Potter darted away to the right as the statue charged at Voldemort. Voldemort disappeared to appear next to the fountain, immediately sending a spell at James's humanoid before disappearing again in time to avoid a spell from Dumbledore that made a small crater where he once stood.

Dumbledore's guardian dragged Harry further away from the battle. The golem was reduced to pebbles but James was still twirling the wand in his hand; the pebbles rose before exploding up into the glass around the Atrium. Glass rained down to the floor before streaking towards James; settling into a small Tornado with James at its centre.

Voldemort kept eyes on both opponents sending another killing curse at Dumbledore, before disappearing to dodge a fleet of glass directed where he once stood. He appeared behind James bringing his wand down in a slash. James dove away as a line was carved where he once stood. Voldemort sent a careless wave at James banishing him across the room and conjured a shield to meet a spell from Dumbledore. The impact of the spell rang out around them but there was no harm on Voldemort.

Voldemort cast a jet of green light from behind his shield. It was met by a stone centaur galloping in front of Dumbledore. The statue took the blast and shattered into a hundred pieces, but before the fragments had even hit the floor, Dumbledore had drawn back his wand and waved it as though brandishing a whip. A long thin flame flew from the tip; it wrapped itself around Voldemort, shield and all. For a moment, it seemed Dumbledore had won, but then the fiery rope became a serpent, which relinquished its hold on Voldemort at once and turned, hissing furiously, to face Dumbledore. Voldemort vanished; the snake reared from the floor, ready to strike.

There was a burst of flame in mid-air above Dumbledore just as Voldemort reappeared standing on the plinth in the middle of the pool where so recently the five statues had stood.

"Look out!" Harry yelled.

But even as he shouted, another jet of green light flew at Dumbledore from Voldemort's wand and the snake came down to strike.

Fawkes swooped down in front of Dumbledore, opened his beak wide and swallowed the jet of green light whole: he burst into flame and fell to the floor, small, wrinkled and flightless. At the same moment, Dumbledore brandished his wand in one long, fluid movement - the snake, which had been an instant from sinking its fangs into him, flew high into the air and vanished in a wisp of dark smoke; and the water in the pool rose up and covered Voldemort like a cocoon of molten glass.

James half crouched sent a torrent of glass shards into the cocoon, ripping in and out of the mass like a mass of hornets. Crimson bloomed from within.

For a few seconds Voldemort was visible only as a dark, rippling, faceless figure, shimmering and indistinct upon the plinth, clearly struggling to throw off the suffocating mass while deflecting the shards. Then he was gone and the water fell with a crash back into its pool, slopping wildly over the sides, drenching the polished floor. The glass shards hovered a moment before bursting into dust falling to the floor.

"Master!" screamed Bellatrix.

Sure it was over, sure Voldemort had decided to flee, Harry made to run out from behind his statue guard, but Dumbledore bellowed: "Stay where you are, Harry!"

For the first time, Dumbledore sounded frightened. Harry could not see why: the hall was quite empty but for themselves, his father, the sobbing Bellatrix still trapped under the witch statue, and the baby phoenix Fawkes croaking feebly on the floor.

Then Harry's scar burst open and he knew he was dead: it was pain beyond imagining, pain past endurance. Harry knew this pain, could already see the coils of the snake slithering around him once more. Harry was on his back writhing again and it was as though time had become still with nothing but agony to be felt. The figure of James came to stumble crouching over him. He was translucent and Harry was sure he could see through his father. It didn't matter though, for seeing his father flooded Harry with so much emotion it threatened to overwhelm him. It was as if he was casting the patronus again for the first time. The coils of the snake loosened and Harry felt the pain fade with a scream that wasn't his own.

Harry faded into reality shaking with cold, but it didn't matter just then.

"Well done son" James said just before he faded

James's image was replaced by Dumbledore who took Harry into his arms and propped him up

"Are you alright Harry"

"I…yes I'm-"

Harry didn't finish his words; in a world suddenly so loud and cold he passed out

T.B.C

I struggled with this one…but this is how I originally wrote it to be so I decided Hermione would stay raped.


	7. Chapter 7

"They say I'm the only one who can be brave… that I am the chosen one… but there's no way.."

Joywave – Tongues (feat Kopps) _ (RAC Remix)

Chapter 7

Waking came with both haze and clarity; haze came from his vision without his glasses and the clarity from his mind. His mind felt pure for the first time in what felt like an age; still with clarity came the memories. Like half-remembered dreams they were upon him when he woke; his actions clear and incomparably stupid and unreasonable. But even that wasn't the focus of his mind; he was torn between two memories which threatened to rip his heart in two. He could see himself so clearly surrounded by the silence and darkness of the forest; worse he could feel his fists on his best friends face, smearing blood and tears against her ruined face. But that wasn't the worst of it; he couldn't surrender himself to the worst of the memory. Fleeing from that only gave him the reprieve of seeing his god father die as he looked on.

The choked cry was the first sound that escaped his mouth since his waking, but it was only a crack in the dam as tears ran down his face. So retched were his feelings if he had the energy he would fling himself out of the closest window and hope for a painful end.

A hand was slow, hesitant before resting on Harry's shoulder. Harry needn't and didn't look to know it was professor Dumbledore. He kept his eyes trained on the ceiling saying nothing. Though there was much on his mind he had nothing to say.

The headmaster spoke instead. His words were low, barely above a whisper but so deep they cut through Harrys misery "I know how you're feeling, Harry"

"No, you don't," said Harry, and his voice quiet detached from the turmoil within

"There is no shame in what you are feeling, Harry," said Dumbledore's low sad voice. "On the contrary… the fact that you can feel pain like this is your greatest strength."

"My greatest strength, is it? You haven't got a clue… you don't know…what I've done" The last part said in the lowest whisper yet

"What don't I know Harry? Tell me what you've done" asked Dumbledore calmly.

For the first time Harry turned to meet the headmasters face.

Harry's gaze was so striking and filled with emotion the headmaster barely held his eyes.

The moment dragged on and it looked like Harry wouldn't speak but the headmaster was patient

"I hurt…" he stopped unable to quell his shaking voice enough to speak clearly

"I hurt Hermione" he said shutting his eyes as if to block the images that played through his mind "And Sirius, I tortured him….and now ….he's gone"

Harry gave a disquieting little laugh "His last moments with me and I had him under that curse"

"Harry I need you to listen and hear me; those were not your actions. The sorrow and pain you go through right now should be proof of that. You were but a victim of the darkness of Voldemort"

Harry shook his head; this he already knew but it would be too easy to fall into that thinking.

"I was weak. I didn't see or didn't want to see"

"If there is someone to be blamed for last night's actions, Harry, then you need not look at your own feet. There is much I must tell you now by the end of which you will see the blame for this can be laid solely at my feet."

Harry turned his head to look at the headmaster, for once he looked as ancient as supposed. Harry remained silent and listened. Dumbledore told of Harry's scar and how the connection between Harry and Voldemort had been growing since his resurrection the year prior. This brought the old man's concern that Voldemort would soon become aware of said connection as well. This ofcourse came to pass with the present disastrous outcome. This was why his occlumency lessons were started and were such a priority. For fear of Voldemort forcing his way into Harry's mind the headmaster kept his distance fearing their close relationship would incite Voldemort to act before Harry was ready to defend his mind.

None of this seemed to matter to Harry though, this changed nothing. Still he listened for that was all he felt safe in doing at the moment. Dumbledore explained with pause the need for his occlumency lessons with Snape; Harry didn't comment on their pairing as the headmaster freely admitted it was a mistake. Still this didn't slow the stab of regret at not having stuck with Snape as his self-teachings only left him even more vulnerable.

The headmaster went on to talk of the events that led to the ministry debacle but Harry let this flow through him, he knew how deep Voldemort was into his head by then, nothing short of a miracle could have stopped his being at the ministry. While he felt the injustice of Kreacher's actions he was only a useless pawn. The blame lay in his own weakness. His mind was clear now and with the clarity came the cold decisiveness that blaming others; Kreacher especially would be misplaced. The blame he couldn't shake lay with himself. Or perhaps he always found it easier to hate himself than others.

He didn't interrupt Dumbledore and gave no outward reaction except for a nod and shake of the head to show the old man he was still with him. Dumbledore took his share of the blame in earnest and Harry could almost relinquish his self-loathing but he suspected this was the reason for the admission of guilt by the headmaster. Whether this was manipulation or a show at how much the headmaster cared for him, Harry wasn't sure.

The headmaster spoke of decisions which could have been made better; his assignment of Snape to teach Harry occlumency instead of undertaking it himself, the handling of Sirius's house arrest and telling Harry years ago of the Prophecy made by professor Trelawney. Harry finally spoke though roused by a dying curiosity at the destroyed prophecy.

"The prophecy was destroyed. I guess we'll never know meaning behind all my life's misery"

The headmaster had a brief frown, his eyes watching Harry in sad puzzlement. Perhaps it worried him how Harry seemed to accept all he said with little reaction. Harry had questions and curiosity somewhere in the back of his mind; He was curious about the blood wards erected by his moth **e** r's death. Dumbledore claimed there was love involved in his mother's sacrifice and the wards but he had to wander how they worked with how his relatives despised him so. He also wondered about the headmasters complicated plans which involved his supposed care for Harry. It confused Harry how Dumbledore had placed him in a place where his survival was assured yet leaving him to the abuse of his relatives. Still these thoughts and curiosities were kept at bay; they would change nothing.

"The thing that smashed was merely the record of the prophecy kept by the Department of Mysteries. But the prophecy was made to somebody, and that person has the means of recalling it perfectly"

"Who heard it?" asked Harry, though he thought he knew the answer already

"I did," said Dumbledore. "On a cold, wet night sixteen years ago, in a room above the bar at the Hog's Head inn. I had gone there to see an applicant for the post of Divination teacher, though it was against my inclination to allow the subject of Divination to continue at all. The applicant, however, was the great-great-granddaughter of a very famous, very gifted Seer and I thought it common politeness to meet her. I was disappointed. It seemed to me that she had not a trace of the gift herself. I told her, courteously I hope, that I did not think she would be suitable for the post. I turned to leave."

Dumbledore gave a small smile which didn't reach his eyes, and reflected in his eyes Harry could see the resonance of the sadness he himself was trying so hard to keep at bay. He may not have been sure how much Dumbledore cared for him but his comprehension of Harry's pain made it feel like there was no one else who could understand.

Dumbledore rose with uncharacteristic slowness showing his exhaustion and age.

"I think it's time you heard the prophecy for yourself, Harry. But I think you must recover your strength first, your feat of magic has done much damage to your strength."

Harry watched him a moment with thoughts of protest but stopped short of voicing them. He could feel the exhaustion throughout his body and had to wonder how he was conscious right now. He gave a nod at the headmaster and turned his vision back up at the ceiling.

"And Harry…Ms Granger has requested you see her as soon as you are able. We shall talk and see after you see her"

Harry didn't answer willingly letting the darkness at the edge of his vision take him under

Xxx

Harry wasn't sure how long he slept but when he woke all around him was semidarkness. He was sure he was in the hospital wing in Hogwarts but in a different room. There was only one cot in the room and he was currently on it. He hadn't known there were private rooms in the hospital wing and he was momentarily grateful. He sat up warily with the effect of lingering exhaustion. He had to wonder what happened to him to cause such exhaustion. His hands searched out and found his glasses on the night stand next to him. He was startled as his blurred vision gave focus to a body sat by his bed.

"How do you feel" Hermione asked with what was almost a small smile but didn't even manage that.

Harry sat up higher in his bed, nervous energy giving him shaky strength

"I'm not sure…tired I think" He said "I thought I was supposed to come to you"

"I was worried you wouldn't" Hermione said her eyes catching his but both averted just as quick

"I would have" Harry said in a whisper "How do you feel"

"I don't know yet" She said staring at her hands

There was silence then, both unsure how to proceed or say what needed to be said.

"Mione…. I'm sorry," Harry started but was just as quickly silenced by Hermione shaking her head

She brought her eyes to hold his, this time an uncertain but genuine smile on her lips

"It's never about you is it Harry?" She said with a mirthless laugh "I'm all too certain that no matter how much …I was hurt by what happened…I knew you would punish yourself twice as much as you don't deserve. It's what I both love and hate about you, Harry. So I'll tell you this once and I need you to know it because I can't be here for you right now. What happened wasn't your fault. I need you to get through this because if you don't; he wins."

"I should have been stronger….should have known better…I shouldn't have let that happen to you"

"You are strong Harry, it might not feel like it right now but you are. And this didn't happen to only me Harry" here she paused uncertain of her next words "it happened to you too. It's your body he took from you, your body he used to hurt me. He didn't just rape me Harry, he raped you too."

Harry couldn't hold her eyes then for she was crying and more than the events she remembered he could see those tears were for the hole Voldemort had carved in him. Hermione brought her hand towards him and fumbled his hand to grasp it. He returned her grip to feel how bad hers was quaking in his.

Harry brought his eyes to meet hers once more "I'm only strong because of you mione, and I really am sorry I couldn't stop him"

She gave a sad smile "we all had a hand in that I think. How much do you remember?"

"Everything"

She nodded sadly "I explained things to the headmaster, and asked that he keep the matter quiet. Only he and Madam Pomphrey know about what happened to me. No one else can know, not even Ron"

Harry caught the determination in her voice and knew any protests wouldn't change her mind in this regard. He himself couldn't find any good in telling others either other than to punish himself. Tempting as the idea was a fear in him kept him in check.

Hermione stood taking her hand out of his. He caught her wince as she stood but just as quickly turned away from thoughts on that.

"I may need a little time but I'll be here for you" she said pausing in after thought "Harry….about Sirius"

Harry waved her off "I know"

There didn't seem to be much else to be said this evening, so with a final glance and smile Hermione departed, leaving Harry to avoid his thoughts.

Xxx

Harry left the hospital wing the following afternoon. Though still feeling a little drained he needed to get off his back. He found two wands with his other belongings, one was his own and the other he rightly assumed was the one taken from Bellatrix. His breath caught in his chest with the image of his father looking back at him. There was shaky joy mingled with his doubt; what he saw couldn't have come to pass, still he couldn't quiet his hope.

He took them with little thought, his mind on meeting up with the headmaster. Madam Pomphrey wouldn't look at him but gave him a few vials of pepper up potion before sending him on his way. So weighed down by the grief for Sirius and what happened between him and Hermione he didn't care to wonder what she thought of him.

He immediately made for the headmaster's office but still couldn't avoid the few students he ran into. Their whisperings and pointing confirmed what he suspected with Dumbledore being back at Hogwarts; information on what happened at the ministry must have got out. He didn't care for that just yet though.

It didn't take long for him to find himself faced with the gargoyle guard and soon after that the headmaster. The dimming afternoon light drifted in from the windows highlighting the headmaster in renewed spirits and energy. Whatever depression gripped him the day before seemed to have faded. He was attentive watching Harry walk deeper into the room, his eyes catching all of him; trying to deduce his frame of mind.

"It's a relief to see you in better colour Harry" The headmaster said pleasantly gesturing for Harry to sit

Harry gave a nod but remained silent, it felt as though his voice had left him of late.

"I don't suppose you have had time to catch up on the events that surround us?"

"No, apart from Hermione I haven't talked to anyone"

"Then before we move on I ask to tell you what you may have missed"

Harry nodded

"During our duel in the ministry, Voldemort was seen and witnessed by many ministry officials. As you can guess from my presence in Hogwarts; we have been vindicated. I should also mention that rumours of the battle should be abound, specifically the projection of James Potter you conjured"

"Projection… but he talked to me…he fought with more magic than I could ever know" Harry said startled, he had been dismissing the events as delusions…delusions with whispers that his father had come back.

Dumbledore gazed back sadness colouring his eyes "The ego duplication spell you used is closely tied with the casters desires. In the moment before your wand and Voldemort's connected. Do you remember what happened the last time your wand connected with Voldemort's?"

"Proiri incatitam"

"Yes. A reaction between those two spells I suspect. Still that was not James Potter. That was magic acting on your intent and desire my boy"

"So he didn't come back?" Harry said in a whisper

"Death I'm afraid is irreversible my boy"

Harry could only nod numbly. He truly was alone; with the last parental figure he would ever have dead trying to save him too; was this to be the fate of everyone he loved.

"The spell you used" Dumbledore said seriousness colouring his tone "I'm afraid I must ask you refrain from using it again my boy"

Harry looked up with a start

"Why?" he asked

"I'm sure you haven't realized but it feeds on one's emotional states and desires. It may seem useful but without careful moderation and presence of mind it can kill you. Your state of exhaustion is from feeding the projection more magic than your body could handle going without"

Harry sighed sitting back in his seat dejected; was there nothing of use to come from that library, was it all meant to be used against him.

"now then I think it's time we turned to the reason you are here" Dumbledore said standing

Together they crossed the room and proceeded to hear what Harry had always known, either he would kill or be killed by Voldemort

Xxx

Harry didn't share his knowledge of the prophecy with his friends when he finally joined them. There was an awkwardness about his group, it seemed his possession by Voldemort had spooked them.

They caught him up on the events after the ministry battle. Apparently the Voldemort's return was witnessed by many at the ministry and the daily prophet was quick to finger Harry now as 'A lone voice of truth forced to bear ridicule and slander'. Details on the events that led to the ministry's turn around were still hazy but it was made clear Voldemort was back, and that some of his death eaters were captured during the ministry break in with the assistance of Dumbledore who had been reinstated with all his titles.

They told him most of what they knew as details from the paper but they really didn't know what had happened. There was tension in that, it was the first time they were also left in the dark but also too kind to ask Harry about the events at the ministry, afraid to touch on the subject of Sirius's death. Dumbledore it seemed had only given them the barest of details.

They didn't need to ask though, Harry told them what they wanted to hear, though keeping some details like casting the cruticus curse on Bellatrix and his projection of his father when he and Voldemort's wands met in a burst of colourful light.

Harry knew they could sense he was leaving things out but the one person who would have had the necessary tact to ask him -Hermione- couldn't even meet his eyes let alone speak full sentences with him. Harry could only wonder what it had taken for her to come to him that night.

Harry knew he needed to give her space but he couldn't allow her to withdraw from their small circle. This was why even though he would have loved nothing more than to be alone, he walked with Ron as they headed for the great hall.

"Looks like you're the boy-who-lived again" Ron noted at the looks Harry garnered as they walked the halls towards the great hall.

Harry didn't respond keeping his eyes straight ahead and formulating words he would speak to Ron in a moment. He caught Ron shooting him a sideways glance. There was something in his eyes; a cross between pity and awkwardness. Harry kept his sigh to himself at that, everyone had been tiptoeing around him since things had returned to this little piece of normality. It seemed his friends were unsure how to treat him in relation to Sirius's death or his possession. He couldn't blame them though, he had been quiet and sulky since he left the hospital wing.

"I should be used to it by now" Harry said a little more bitterly than he had intended.

"Atleast Umbridge's out, I don't think we would have survived the rest of our time here otherwise"

This piqued Harry's interest, the last memory he had of the retched woman was her being carried off into the depths of the forbidden forest by the centaurs.

"What happened to her anyway" Harry asked

Ron told Harry of her being retrieved from the forest by Dumbledore. Ron seemed entirely too happy to give detail in her state upon retrieval. Apparently she had been in shock and unresponsive since Dumbledore rescued her. Ron eluded to what the centaurs may have done to her, though never losing the pleasant tone in his voice. He couldn't blame Ron for the vindictiveness in his manner but Harry felt none of it, he wouldn't wish that abuse on anyone, not even Umbridge. His own experience had taught him that well.

Harry paused tugging Ron to stop with him. He gave a jerk of the head and they walked away from the main hall to find an empty room.

"Listen mate, I need a favour" Harry began once sure they were alone

Ron looked pensive but gave a slow nod

"What happened in the forest-"

"Not your fault mate" Ron said a little too quickly

Harry gave a bitter smile and a nod "So I've been told. Hermione told you to say that?"

Ron gave a defeated but genuine smile "Yeah, threatened me from saying anything stupid. That doesn't make it any less true mate, it's been a tough year for us all. I know if you could have kept him out of your head you would have"

Harry felt a little eased by Ron's words but had to wonder if they would be repeated if he knew the extent of that night's misadventure.

"Thanks mate"

"So what's the favour"

"I need to give Hermione a little space. I've seen how she tenses up if I even glance in her direction"

Ron winced at that. He had hoped it would go unnoticed. Ron looked to speak but Harry waved him off.

"I don't blame her mate. She begged him…begged me to stop, and it didn't end, I-…He just kept on hitting her" Harry's gaze was on the floor by then and his tone thick with emotion.

Harry coughed correcting his voice "She'll need time, but I need you to be there for her mate since I can't"

Ron gave a determined nod "You don't have to ask mate. I'll keep with her, can't have a little tussle breaking up the golden trio"

Harry winced at the name given to their group. Ron chuckled at that and Harry couldn't help doing so as well.

"Thanks mate"

Ron waved him off "Come on let's get to dinner I'm starving"

"When are you not" Harry said trying to sound cheerful

Xxx

"What would you prefer Vince; waking to have a bloke pissing or cumming onto your face" Gregory asked queitly

Vince gave a grunt "I prefer none of it"

"No choice, you have to pick one"

Vince didn't answer but Gregory knew him well enough to know he was turning the choice over in his head

"I'll take the pissing," he said with a grin showing his crooked teeth "A bloke cumming on yer face isn't right, it would mess with the mind"

"Aye." Greg said with a low chuckle "Call me surprised though, I figured you for the cum on face type"

"Sod off" Vince said but he too was chuckling

"Quiet your vile musings" Draco barked angrily from where he sat away from them

Draco let his gaze roll over them momentarily to make sure they were culled before turning back to the fire. He didn't care for their talks but this was sign enough that even with his father now detained he would still have hold over the two of them. His anger was real though, and with every grind of his teeth he seethed for Potter's blood.

He would have been sated earlier this afternoon if Professor snape and McGonagall hadn't interrupted his cornering of Potter. Still it was no matter, he would get Potter back for the slight he had delt him and his family, it was only a matter of waiting, the opportunity would reveal itself.

A hand on Draco's shoulder shook him from his thoughts. He looked up to meet Pansy's black orbs and a soft smile that graced her lips. She looked exceptionally beautiful just then. There was still a hint of her mousy look and pug of a nose but it was too slight to be of notice anymore. He wasn't sure if she had gotten her features corrected or if it was the process of her growth that brought the change. It didn't matter though; she was much more flattering to have around him now, not just a need for a loyal entourage.

"hey" she said softly watching him with a hint of worry in her features

He tried to smile up at her but from the grimace that came from her he knew he failed

"Care for a walk?" he asked

There was a moment of hesitation before she gave a nod. He stood and steered them out of the common room. They walked in silence. Draco walked lost in his thoughts; below his anger with Potter lay the very real fear of what could come next. He was not fool enough to think that now with his father in jail, the dark lord would cease his dealings with his family. They were very vulnerable to both sides at the moment, the ministry-which would no doubt try to pry into his family's interests and take from them what they could- and a dangerous man known for his dangerous temper would come calling.

"I trust you didn't ask me to accompany you just to watch you sulk" pansy said from his side

Draco broke from his daze to cast her an apologetic look.

"It takes just a night and it seems I am cast low and Potter back on his pedestal " he said bitterly

"I trust you have enough sense to know Potter is insignificant to the situation your family faces" she said not meeting his eyes

He gave a tight smile "when did you become so insightful "

"I know what you need, and an ornament isn't what you need right now " she said softly turning her eyes to his.

He was taken aback by the response and more so by the hint of fear in her eyes. Was she afraid of how he would react to the truth? He didn't need to think long to know it to be the truth. He had surrounded himself with yes men and their opinion wasn't high on the things he cared for. She held his eyes and he looked away less she see the feelings his face might reflect. He reasoned she wouldn't have voiced her opinion if she didn't care for him past what she could get from him.

It was an action without conscious thought; he took her hand in his. She tensed at his touch and he was glad he wasn't the only one surprised by it.

"I know Potter is the least of my worries, but I can't let his prancing about like he's owns the school go unanswered"

She giggled "He's not prancing. If you weren't too busy sharpening your axe for him, you would have noted there's something off with him. He's sulking or depressed. More so than you "

"Mmm maybe I'd prefer an ornament to commiserating about Potter's supposed problems. Prancing or otherwise he needs to be checked " Draco grumbled

"Stop that you'll ruin your teeth " she said watching him grind his teeth

"From ornament to my mother? " he said

" I wonder do you always stare at your ornament's and mother's chest and bum" she said whimsically

"Don't be silly ornaments don't have a bum or breasts" he said in all seriousness

Pansy stopped to watch him a moment before he gave her a slight smile

She burst out laughing at that "well I don't believe it, you do have a sense of humour outside of mocking potter and co."

Draco smiled widely. Oddly put at ease by her mirth

"I'm full of suprises" he said whipping her around to face him in close intimate proximity

"Dra-" whatever pansy looked to say was lost with his lips taking hers.

The kiss was nervous and sloppy but neither shied from the others grasp. They pulled away from each other as a scent of honey and smoke wafted through their space.

"Smells like Longbottom just massacred a potion " Draco said nervously watching for any dissatisfaction on her face. All he saw was a little panic and nervousness.

"Or finch's bathing oils, we should go back. We don't have the leeway we had before " Pansy said

Draco laughed "I'm a little curious at your intimate knowledge of finches bathing oils"

She smiled but the panic was still there

"Come on" she said pulling him away and together they fled back to their house.

Xxx

The daze and numbness that had set in since he woke up in the hospital was constantly with him now. He had seen little of his friends but he wasn't sure if he wanted them around or preferred to be alone as he was now. Still this didn't matter; he couldn't be around them and still hope to be giving Hermione space to heal. It was a few days until the end of school so it didn't make much a difference, this was just a prologue to his solitude with the Dursley's.

Presently Harry stalked the Hogwarts halls map in hand and cloak fitted against him. He had used it more than his previous years put together this year and it reflected in the way he moved in it. It was now an unconscious but sure knowledge when the cloak completely covered him.

He was out to settle one last loose end before school ended. It would have saved him much grief to let the situation he worried over play out but he couldn't forgive himself for half measures any longer.

He came to a stop before an intersection of hallways and took off his cloak and put the map away. He waited a for a few minutes before the expected sound of approaching people gave him notice.

He stood perfectly still in the shadow of torch light and was a rewarded by three girls coming around the corner and paying him no mind. He coughed and they all jumped turning to give him startled expressions.

"Potter " Pansy growled

Harry gave a small wave at them

"Skulking in corners doesn't suit you boy who lived" Daphne said starting to smile, now losing her fear.

"Many things don't suit what people think of me I imagine "

"Well we can't argue with that now can we" Millicent said smirking as her gaze drifted between him and Pansy.

"So to what do we owe the pleasure" Daphne asked Harry smilling at the small blush Millicent had invoked in him.

Harry watched them in turn before settling his gaze on Pansy. She glared at him nervously but still didn't speak.

" Could I borrow Pansy a moment " he asked

"Sure" millicent and Daphne said in unison

"No" pansy said also in sync

"It won't take long" Harry said with a small frown.

Daphne coughed uncomfortably looking between them "we'll wait for you down the hall?"

Pansy gave a tight nod and they walked away, though not before shooting Harry thumbs up and winks. He was almost tempted to smile.

"So what's up" she asked nonchalantly

"What's up?" Harry asked sceptically "brushing up on muggle lingo?"

She flushed a little and wouldn't meet his eyes "what do you want "

He walked over to her and she was just as quick to backpedal away from him. He stopped, watching the panic on her face.

"I'm not going to try anything " Harry said uncomfortably

She looked to respond but Harry wasn't sure he was up for any such talk this evening. He walked closer to her and this time she didn't back away. He took out his wand and cast a privacy spell.

"I saw you with Draco the other night " Harry waved her off talking again. "I didn't come here to...fight or argue or talk about that. I don't have the right to expect anything from you"

"Then why are you here" she said folding her arms looking past him down the hall

"To give you this" he produced a small bracelet

It was nondescript and rather bland.

" Its a port key" he said to stop the alarm that began to take on her face

The alarm gave way to confusion "why are you giving me a portkey"

Harry looked away then "Because you may be in danger "

She looked at him then and he could practically feel the gears in her head whirring . "Why..would I be" she stopped then

"who did you tell" she accused breathlessly and fear creeping into her features

" I didn't tell anyone. And your friends are the only ones that I know of who saw us"

"Then what is this potter, overreaction?" She said chuckling nervously

Harry shook his head "There's a chance...no... I'm pretty sure Voldemort knows about what's happened between us"

She flinched paling with the words he spoke " how"

"I can't say, it would just make things worse-"

Harry was cut short by a vicious slap

"Don't give me that. My life. ...my future is at risk. Tell me"

Harry took a breath brushing off the slap "I can't...it would only make things worse. The less you know...the less you have to do with me the better for you it will be"

" You have no idea what wrong you've done me" she said shaking her head with a threat of tears in her eyes.

Harry watched her a moment trying to ignore the sinking feeling creeping through the pit of his stomach.

"The portkey doesn't go anywhere to do with me or the headmaster, it's made to take you out of immediate danger, beyond that you're on your own. I wish there was more I could do but..." Harry trailed off not wanting to say he couldn't trust her enough to give her information on where she could go.

"Are you sure?" She asked quietly

"No" he said truthfully. He couldn't be sure what Voldemort had gleaned when in his head.

"Then you could be wrong" she said

"I could be "Harry admitted but that didn't seem to ease the expression on her face.

"Better safe Parkinson" Harry said handing her a note "the trigger for the port key"

She gave the barest of nods . Harry sighed and ended the privacy spell.

"I should go." Harry said making to leave

"About what you saw" she began pausing when Harry turned back to watch her "I'm...Draco was always the plan"

Harry watched her impassivly a moment before nodding and continuing on his way. This was for the best anyway, the last thing he needed right now was someone getting close enough to be used against him.

Xxx

Harry left Parkinson feeling as alone as when he hadn't known there was anything for him in this world past the cupboard under the stairs. The blame she had lain at his feet rang hallow but the fact that she had said it hurt more than he thought it should. Perhaps he was only lying to himself when he convinced himself seeing her with Malfoy was to be expected and that she owed him nothing. Still there was nothing to be done about it now.

He walked running from one thought to another and soon found himself in front of the entrance of the sanctuary. He hadn't returned since he was last here with Parkinson. The memory of it brought forth the first emotion he had felt in days; anger. The thought of those last intimate moments so readily discarded intensified the feeling running through him. He laughed a hollow laugh realizing he might have actually liked her. He hissed for entrance and the floor readily devoured him.

The room didn't hold the same shine it had before, it was as if it was tainted by something he didn't see but felt. Knowing that this had once been a haven for the dark lord brought revulsion and with it Harry knew he would never feel safe in here ever again. Safety wasn't what he came here for though. He was here out of desperation to take what he could from this room of tainted knowledge. Voldemort had said some, not all, the books held blind spots for the unwary interloper. Harry hoped to take with him over the summer what was wasn't tainted.

He silenced his thoughts on Parkinson and their last moments here together before beginning to comb through the texts anew. Anything he found overly interesting or held promise he left alone untrusting in its authenticity.

He took from the library texts that held the most basic of use if not outright useless to those of little imagination. His use of the projection spell had left a lesson on how a spell with little use at face value could become so much more to the desperate. Even with his distrust of the knowledge in the room he took with him the featureless occlumency book and the distraction to destruction texts. He took them on a whim he hoped would not betray him. he kept his selections at a minimum taking atleast one text for every subject he attended on normal classes.

Once he took what he found to be enough he shrunk the texts before leaving the room without casting a parting look behind him.

Xxx

The climb back to Gryffindor commons was uneventful until he met with Luna in search of her items taken in passive aggressive bullying tactics.

"Hello Harry" she said with an air of foreseen meeting

"Hey Luna" Harry said awkwardly, he wasn't looking to talk to anyone let alone Luna and her eccentricities.

"A cloud of much sadness hangs over you Harry, be careful not to let it swallow you"

"Why aren't you at dinner" Harry asked steering away from what she said

She told him of her lost items taken from her but usually returned. Harry felt saddened by that but he had his own problems to wallow in so he wasn't overly sympathetic.

"I'm sorry they do that to you" He said staring past her

"it's nothing to be sorry for, they'll return them in the end" she said before cocking her head to the side and asking "Why aren't you at the feast"

Harry shrugged and made to walk past her

"Ginny told me your God father got killed at the ministry that night, I'm sorry"

Harry paused irritated but he reigned it in

"You see thestrals too don't you? Tell me who you have seen die" He said to see how much she would like to talk of the dead

"Yes" said Luna simply, "my mother. She was a quite extraordinary witch, you know, but she did like to experiment and one of her spells went rather badly wrong one day. I was nine."

He hated how sorry he felt for her just then and it irritated him how she talked with ease of such things. Why was there no sadness in her voice? Why did she even start these talks if she couldn't even feign a tone of commiseration.

"Why do you speak the way you do, can't you just…." He trailed off losing all irritation to be left with numb emptiness. "I'm sorry…about your mother, it's a terrible thing. I should go, I'm not good company right now Luna"

He made to walk past her but she caught his hand causing him to turn back to her. There was a nakedness about her face. She looked up at him with a look of extreme sorrow and kindness.

"I…I'm sorry" she said hesitantly seeming to search for her next words "I keep my tones and expressions so thoroughly masked that all I can do is speak with airs and an unhurt expression. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your godfather's death. I can't tell you the hurt ever fades, even now thoughts on my mother threaten to crush me…but I have my papa and you see I have not lost it all, so life isn't so bad. Besides it's not as though I won't ever see her again"

Harry was shaken by her face, her words, and touch. He hadn't ever seen Luna speak so plainly and with such shaky tones. He was grateful to see it and just as well ashamed of his irritations earlier.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled "and thank you but what do you mean it's not as though you won't ever see her again'?"

"This life isn't our only adventure Harry" she said her tone decidedly Luna again

Harry nodded wistfully

They looked at each other. Luna was smiling slightly. Harry did not know what to say, or to think; Luna believed so many extraordinary things… yet he felt he could believe her thoughts on the afterlife.

"Do you want me to help you look for your stuff?' he asked

"Oh no" said Luna. "No, I think I'll just go down and have some pudding and wait for it all to turn up… it always does in the end… well, have a nice holiday Harry"

"Yeah… yeah, you too."

Xxx

The train ride home was as an uncomfortable affair as Harry imagined. Between Hermione avoiding him behind her book and Ginny's meaningful stares he preferred to be elsewhere. It was just as well he sought just that as he excused himself with words of the restroom. He could tell he fooled nobody but he didn't care. He walked out of their compartment and took a grateful air once alone. The corridors were empty and he walked away heading for the rear of the train. He hadn't checked before but wondered if there was an exit at the rear he could get solitude and a bit of air.

He strolled past other students unseeing and uncaring for their mumbled words of apology and encouragement. He spotted Cho looking out from a compartment with her friends and was glad it was through a closing door.

He was almost past another rear compartments when the blow caught him. His groan was followed suit by Goyle heaving him to the floor. Harry hit the floor already whipping his wand out but Crabbe looked down in bitter amusement as he stepped on Harry's hand to relieve him of his wand. Harry was stood up shortly after by Goyle to face a smirking Malfoy.

"Not so high and mighty now are you Potter" Draco drawled "Don't bother speaking Potter, I'm going to have fun now, just bear with me"

Harry gave a hallow laugh "Okay then Malfoy, try to start what not even Voldemort can manage to finish"

The name had the desired effect as all three of them flinched. Harry took the chance to smash the back of his head into Goyle. The wet crunch was followed by Harry shoving forward out of his grasp to kick Crabbe into Malfoy. With the turmoil Harry whipped out the other wand in his pocket.

"Ego duplicatam"

The projection came into existence between Harry and Goyle who was picking himself up. Two stunners came into existence from both Harrys and Crabbe and Goyle were rendered unconscious.

"Levicorpus…finite" Harry said in succession sending a fleeing Malfoy up into the ceiling before crashing into the floor with a groan

"Accio wand" the projection said instruction received from an afterthought in Harrys mind

Harry snatched the wand out of the air before dispelling the projection. Malfoy groaned trying to stand but found himself on his knees looking up at flushed Harry. There was anger mingled in with joy in Harry's face and Malfoy wasn't sure which frightened him more.

"You know what I hate most about you Malfoy? That look on your face. The panic and cowardice once things don't go your way" Harry said summoning all other wands and shoving them in his pockets.

Bellatrix's wand was alien to his magic yet responded well enough and Harry was appreciative for having decided to keep it with him for the time being. Malfoy looked to speak but Harry kicked him back on to his back before crouching to meet his stare.

"So then, what shall we do with you" Harry said twirling his wand

"Spare me your idle- "Draco was saying but was quickly interrupted by a fist knocking silent

Harry was surprised by his actions, truthfully he had been debating on what spell to cast on him but as Draco started to speak his hand just whipped out. The smarting pain on his fist let him know he was not unscathed by his body's beating on Hermione.

Harry stood warily rubbing his fist wanting to be away from this situation all too suddenly. He opened a compartment and threw all wands not his own into it before putting a locking jinx on the door. He began walking away but was stopped by Malfoy's next words

"This isn't over Potter. You, your little mudblood and blood traitor friends will know pain. I promise-"

He was cut off once more but this time by a vicious kick to the face. Harry fell on him just as fast as he went down.

"Do you know?" Harry said in a whisper straightening Malfoy up to blacken his face with a fist

What had begun as a whisper turned shout as Harry rained controlled blows on Malfoys face. Malfoy fought at first but soon he was limp and delirious under Harry's repeated blows.

"That's enough, Harry"

Hermione's voice snapped Harry back to himself and what waited for him was nothing he wanted to see. He took in the scene from Malfoys bruised face to the gathered crowd behind his friends who stared back at him in bewilderment. Harry sighed and stood stepping away from Malfoy.

Hermione knelt next to Malfoy, she brought out her wand to revive his consciousness. He groaned and gave a small whimper. His hands moved to his face but Hermione pulled them away before tracing her wand around his bruised face. Where her wand traced the bruising faded leaving only slight discolouration.

"The pain will remain but it should fade in a day or so" She said as he looked up at her with distrust

"Do you know what terrible things your people do to us" Harry said in a low tone catching Malfoy's eyes

"I'm sorry you had to see that" Harry said turning to Hermione.

She shook his apology away "Let's go back to the compartment, we should be reaching kings cross soon"

He nodded and together with the others they carved a hole through the gathered crowd. Harry caught sight of Parkinson watching him with the other Slytherin girls. He turned away and let himself be led back from where he had hoped to escape.

Harry explained how they had ambushed him and how things turned out the way they had. Ron spoke in approval of his actions but even under that Harry detected the tension of the violence in his actions. He knew they were wondering if Voldemort wasn't still somewhere in his head pushing the right buttons. True to Hermione's word they reached kings cross without much time gone by.

They filed out of the train trailing their luggage behind them. Harry cast a longing look back at the train wishing it could take him back but just as quick he shook his head of those thoughts and walked on toward the station attendant. He felt the eyes on him as they walked but he was so use to it he paid no mind to the prickling of his sense. He idly wondered if someone around wanted to do him harm but then again he would be worried if someone didn't.

The attendant signalled for them to pass and they went through the barrier. Once more Harry was in the muggle world. All was as to be expected except for the group that waited to receive them. The order gave them a warm reception. Harry had to feign being okay to get through with minimal talking and contact.

Surprise came when threats were made and the Dursley's given great warning not to treat Harry badly or else. Harry would have found it all too heart-warming had it come years earlier but right now he had to wonder if this act was so they could feel okay about leaving him to them after what happened. He knew he was being unfair but depression made his thoughts an unpleasant place to be. He thanked them and he truly meant it even if it was pointless.

The Dursley's made quick to be away and Harry was about to follow when Hermione threw herself into his embrace. Her body shook against him and her voice shook as she spoke into his ear.

"Don't let him win" She whispered clutching him tighter trying to let her love seep past her fear and damage to warm the cold in him.

Harry couldn't speak for he feared he would breakdown right then. He returned her hug and pull away. They separated and she and Ron promised to write. It was a better farewell than he had hoped for and with that it felt like it might not be as bad as he expected

 **T.B.C**

Sorry this took so long, I wrote this so long ago but kept procrastinating rereading it and by the time I got around to it, it didn't sit right with me. Anyway there it is.

I should mention that when Pansy and Malfoy were kissing Harry was watching and burning one of the joints Pansy made for him the last time they left the sanctuary together. The smell likened to finch's bathing oils.


End file.
